I had dreams of fucking an R&B bitch!
Okay good I got your attention. Welcome back to one of few reliable sources for all things Autism and, life in general. Today we’re gonna broach a subject that I don’t talk about much. Show of hands, how many of you like to daydream? Everyone? I thought so. Those who know me well know that I am a chronic daydreamer and no, none of those day dreams consist of fucking R&B bitches; Biggie dreams of fucking R&B bitches. My daydreams always depended on my mood and, what was going on in my life. Growing up, I daydreamed as much as I breathed. In school I wasn’t challenged as much as I should, especially in math. Math was super easy for me so, It was very hard to keep my attention. When something didn’t interest me, I’d often retreat into my head and start to dwell on what preoccupied my mind. Most of the time it was what ever video game I was playing at the time. I would constantly think about a solution to a dungeon I was stuck in or, plan on how I was going to beat a tough boss. Other times, I would be thinking about ideas I had for video games I wanted to create. I would conceptualize characters, worlds and, music. It was always a great escape, nothing could stop me, not even the,
“Flemmings!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU DAY DREAMING AGAIN?” my fourth grade teacher would yell.
Fourth grade was where my chronic daydreaming would really take stride. I hated school but, you already knew that. In fourth grade I grasped math pretty quickly to the point that I was super bored. I would get lost in my daydreams often to the point that class work wouldn’t get done. My teacher would keep me after class just so I could finish assignments. It annoyed the shit out of me like; I already knew how to do this so, why did I have to keep doing these super repetitive assignments? I didn’t need to do 20 problem drills just to prove I was good at this shit. One day it reached a peak so, I decided it enough was enough. I purposely put the wrong answer into each problem just to breeze through the assignment and, get it out of the way. It seemed really fool proof but, she ended up checking them and boy was she pissed. Not only did she chew me out but, she also told my mother who also chewed me out. It’s not that I didn’t want to succeed, I just didn’t know any other way to tell people that I was bored. I didn’t want to constantly do what amounted to busy work every single day.
In middle school this chronic daydreaming cause me many problems. I would often miss critical notes so, I’d lack solid study material when it came to exams. I would constantly get detention because when teachers called on me to give answers, I didn’t even know what was going on. I was constantly bored in school. There were a million other things I could be doing other than being in school getting useless shit crammed in my head. I always thought I was a failure because I couldn’t sit and absorb information like everyone else. It took me years to realize that the current model we have for schooling wasn’t designed for people like me. School just didn’t stimulate my mind the way video games and, TV shows did. I realized that I constantly daydreamed because no one to stimulate me as well as me. If something was too easy or, wasn’t interesting then it was very easy to lose me.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from all of this it’s that the whole school thing has gotten it wrong for the last 30 years. You get kids from all walks of life and, you expect them to sit still for 6-8 hours in one room with breaks only for lunch. There are extra curriculars but, those are starting to go the way of the velociraptor in favor of more learning. We seem to have gotten stuck in this concept that the ability to take tests and, regurgitate information equates to intelligence. This couldn’t be further from the truth. If you have trouble keeping your students focused then perhaps the problem is the curriculum but no, we’re always quick to blame kids and label them as failures because the can’t assimilate a system that has been broken since its existence. Even those who succeeded in this broken system wound up having problems later. Our education system absolutely sucks and it needs to change. It’s a one size fits all model that leaves a lot of people constantly falling through the cracks. Maybe if they found a way to make school more engaging then, I wouldn’t always retreat into my head. Well that’s all for today.