You mean I’ve been writing this blog for three years? Get out of here! Well happy third birthday to the awesomeness that is my blog. From blogs about heartbreak to blogs about heartbreak and well, more heartbreak. Wait a fucking minute, you’re telling me a chunk of the blogs I wrote last year actually centered around heartbreak and dating? Damn, was I really that much of a train wreck last year? Trainwreck doesn’t even describe it, I’d have to go with “Thomas The Tank Engine” snorted a bunch of coke, went into hyper drive, crashed up Godzilla’s ass and through his mouth, fell into a mine field and got blown up harder than losing a game of minesweeper. It’s been a hell of a year and well there have been some epic moments, there have been ones that I’m better without. Apparently I did write a really awesome sex blog which is funny because I’ve yet to step anywhere near a vagina but then again, the people at Cosmo give sex advice like they’ve never had it so that says a lot (you’re telling women to take my genitalia and do WHAT??! You want her stick what in my what? Are you sure this position won’t put me in a wheelchair?). Ah religion, the double edged sword that has given me both a sense of purpose and give me thousands of reasons to question that purpose in the same damn day. I talked about video games at one point this year and even reminisced about the past but other than that, I spent and entire year talking about the one that got away and the effects it had on my well being. Apparently I wrote a blog about it at 2 am and is probably the most emo thing I’ve written since my MySpace blogging days. Anyways, I’m thankful to have a growing base of readers from all over the world who allow me to spill my thoughts on them like cutting a hole in my head and leaking brain fluids all over your keyboard. Your keyboards are probably stickier than keyboard of someone who should probably cool it with the porn and all that wonderful fetish shit that you’re into. It’s people like you that give me a reason to take to my keyboard, even if it is at 2 am some days. Here’s to another year of blogging and stay tuned because there are a few surprises (no my dick is not hiding in a box people, stop letting Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake give you ideas…).

Once again, stay classy….