The Glass Prison Redux (Breaker of Chains…)

Hello strange world! Welcome back to one of the greatest pieces of literary art you will ever read on the internet. As I look back through the year, I realize that I’m not the same person I was about eight months ago. To say that this has been a long eight months is a pure fucking understatement. I don’t even know how to describe what has felt like an eternity yet, time continues to fly by like it’s nothing. It’s a complete mind fuck to feel like you’re trapped in the same day only to blink and have weeks go by just to feel trapped in another. Time is a form of art that is just pure fuckery of all the senses in the best and worse way possible. God is an interesting being that could easily give you the short cut through the treacherous mountain but, finds it way more interesting to take you down the scenic route. He could take the main road during a snow storm but, he’ll take the untreated back roads at full speed without all season tires and still get you to your destination in one piece. Yeah, my year has been a hell of a train ride that has tested me in ways that would make 2010-2012 jealous. Now I should note that I didn’t tackle with the suicidal idealization that has caused me problems in the past; I dealt with a brand new problem that hit me harder than it has in years, anxiety. Now I wouldn’t call this full blown clinical anxiety that has me hyperventilating in a corner or, on meds; I would call it several months of being perpetually anxious over a series of events happening in my life all at once. To get a better idea of this, we need to start back at the beginning. Continue reading

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Small Talk, Big Problems #2 (Let’s Skip The Small Talk)

Hello world! I’m aware my blogs haven’t been as frequent as they used to be but, that’s what happens when you focus your energy into a book. It’s been an interesting few months that has consisted of wonderful adventures with and amazing girlfriend and, some really crappy situations as referenced by my last blog that I may not delve into for a very long time.Two years ago I wrote a blog post called “Small Talk, Big Problems” that really dived into some of the struggles I have with making small talk with people. I’ve always hated small talk because it seems so pointless and mundane. Small talk also requires one to put up this facade that can get tiring really fast. Small talk is an art that one must master if they want to survive in the worlds of networking and, dating. Some never make it past the meaningless small talk thus preventing the fostering of deeper connections. What if there were an event where you skip the small talk all together and, jump straight to the really important things on your mind; the things pent up inside you really want to vent about but, you can’t because you’ll have a total fucking stranger running for the hills with their tail between their legs? What if there was an event that would allow you to ask all the questions you ever wanted to ask someone but, you couldn’t because you thought that asking those questions in a regular conversation would be really over stepping your bounds? It appears that God answered those prayers in the best way possible. Continue reading

Wap Kon Jorge

Those who read the blog I posted will know that I’ve been in sort of a blogging hiatus for the past few months. In earlier blogs, I have referenced a book that my mother has been nagging me to write for years. A few months ago I finally committed to writing that book and that has consumed a lot of the time I’d usually devote to writing blogs. I present to you guys another and probably the last sample from the book for a while. I will be devoting quite a bit of time to writing but don’t you worry, there will still be a fourth anniversary blog post in the beginning of next month. I will hopefully try to add more content to this blog that isn’t book related; I’m sure you’re all dying to know my thoughts on watching people in wheelchairs getting carried out of the Senator’s office during a sit in. There’s much to write about and so little time to do it these days. Without further adieu, I present to you the next sample of what I hope will be a masterpiece of epic proportions.  Continue reading

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell….

Hello strange world. It’s funny that the strange guy is calling the world strange but then again, if you’re all strange and I’m normal? Anyways, before I break the universe some more it’s time to get this show on the road. No this blog post has nothing to do with the infamous campaign in the military to repress one’s sexuality to preserve hyper masculinity, this post pertains to something I’ve struggled with for years as someone with a disability. Now before we get started we need to discuss the two types of disabilities; Visible disabilities and, invisible disabilities. The two terms are relatively self explanatory. A visible disability is one where you can look at someone and it’s pretty obvious they have some sort of disability. They’re either in a wheelchair, have a deformity, it’s pretty obvious they have a visual impairment (presence of a cane or guide dog) or, they’re on the lower functioning end cognitively (I’m fully aware some people don’t like functioning labels but, there’s really a lack of a better phrase).  Then you have invisible disabilities. These are disabilities where you’d never know they exist just from looking at a person. These include any disorders that involve chronic fatigue like fibromyalgia, mild visual impairments that are still severe enough to render a person legally blind, seizure disorders or, people who are on the higher functioning end of any disability that results in cognitive impairments.  Continue reading

Rabbit Run (Slow and Steady Never Wins The Race)

As I wake up in the morning, I stare at that fucking clock. Tic Toc motherfucker it yells as I roll out my bed and proceed to do my morning routine. Five minute shower and I’m out; Racing to get ready while I stare at another clock. When everything is together I quickly rush out of my house, phone in hand. With the phone in hand I stare down at it as I trek the constantly updating bus time. As it updates, I start running up the hill in fear of missing the bus. I know I need to pay attention to my surroundings but, the moment I take my eyes off that phone another precious minute disappears into the abyss. I finally make it up the hill, panting with a minute to spare for the bus. I get on the bus and hope I can connect with a train at a decent time. As I roll into the station, there’s but a minute to spare until the train leaves. As I walk off the bus I start to get agitated. These motherfuckers are moving like they have all the damn time in the world. Continue reading

The Bully Pulpit

[WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE & GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF ABUSE]

Hello world! Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday because, we’re about to kick some more ass. After yet another blog about a my shitty love life, it’s time to talk about some more serious matters. Are any of you guys familiar with the phrase “The Bully Pulpit” No? I thought so. For those who aren’t, A bully pulpit is a conspicuous position that provides an opportunity to speak out and be listened to. The term was coined by President Theodore Roosevelt, who referred to the White House as a “bully pulpit”, by which he meant a terrific platform from which to advocate an agenda. To put it in simpler terms; It’s a place both physically and, figuratively where you spout any message good or bad and, people will hear it loud and clear whether they want to or not. Those who often follow my blogs will know that I often touch the subject of bullying, a subject that unfortunately hits home for me. Growing up I got bullied quite a bit. The scars still linger from my many ordeals and, I sometimes struggle greatly with my self esteem. People with disabilities get bullied and, even abused at a disproportionate rate. Now I’ve never really touched the subject of abuse but, we need to talk about two stories that have made they news as of late and unfortunately for reasons that over shadow an even bigger problem in our society. Continue reading

Let’s Get Dangerous (Between A Rock and The Broad Spectrum)

They always say you should end the year on a high note, I highly doubt this post will constitute as such so work with me alright? This year has been a pretty interesting one given the events of 2015 some good and, some just absolute shit. I had high hopes for 2016 and for the most part it delivered but, there just one thing that has lingered since the middle of last year. If you’ve been avidly reading my blogs then you’re probably going “Not this shit again!”. Yup, it’s definitely this shit again but, we’re going to go down an entirely different rabbit hole and discuss an aspect of dating I’m surprised I never went in full detail about (Definitely not sex! There’s already a blog post for that). It will also chronicle my dating experiences in the last several years and bring us to a sort of dilemma I’ve been having this last week. For those who are new to my blog, the story plays out like this; I’m a single, hopeless romantic that has struggled to find a lasting romantic relationship (Yeah a love sick Autistic guy, how shocking!). Two years ago I was certain I had found my forever woman but, she broke up with me eight months later. Even before that one, I met another woman several years ago I also thought was my forever woman; That relationship also went up in flames. In between the last relationship and now, I’ve gone on three dates, none of them successful. Now the one thing that I don’t often mention about my travels is, there’s a huge difference between the two relationships I was in and, the three women I went on dates on and, a fourth formerly eligible bachelorette that met with an end that has put a sour taste in my mouth. Cough syrup has nothing on how bachelorette number 4 values the time of others. The first two women I was in a relationship with were on the spectrum, the other three weren’t. Continue reading