Rabbit Run (Slow and Steady Never Wins The Race)

As I wake up in the morning, I stare at that fucking clock. Tic Toc motherfucker it yells as I roll out my bed and proceed to do my morning routine. Five minute shower and I’m out; Racing to get ready while I stare at another clock. When everything is together I quickly rush out of my house, phone in hand. With the phone in hand I stare down at it as I trek the constantly updating bus time. As it updates, I start running up the hill in fear of missing the bus. I know I need to pay attention to my surroundings but, the moment I take my eyes off that phone another precious minute disappears into the abyss. I finally make it up the hill, panting with a minute to spare for the bus. I get on the bus and hope I can connect with a train at a decent time. As I roll into the station, there’s but a minute to spare until the train leaves. As I walk off the bus I start to get agitated. These motherfuckers are moving like they have all the damn time in the world. Continue reading

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Finding Independence (Success Begins With Two Words, I’ll Try…)

So two weeks ago I had the chance to watch Finding Dory and, once again Pixar has delivered another masterpiece and most importantly, something blog worthy. So without spoiling anything, Finding Dory center’s around Nemo’s friend Dory who is very scatter brained and is notorious for short term memory issues. The movie takes a look back at her childhood and how she got separated from her family in the first place. A series of events causes Dory to remember her family thus begins yet another journey that makes for an epic Pixar film. Their adventure brings them to an aquarium that specializes in rehabilitating injured aquatic animals. Now, where the film truly succeeds is how it tackles living with a disability. A lot of this movie’s important characters including Dory all have some sort of disability that has an adverse affect on how they live their lives. From a visually impaired whale shark named Destiny to a Dolphin named Bailey who is unable to use his echo location abilities, a cognitively impaired loon named Becky and of course Dory, this film stresses not only how people live and function in this world with disabilities but, it also explores the topic of ableism which can be a huge problem for those of us with disabilities. Continue reading

Leap of Faith

You know, some days I feel as though one of life’s biggest punchlines is an overly logical Autistic like me being brought up in the Roman Catholic faith. Now before I proceed I should note that I have nothing against the faith and honestly wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but, I have a lot of questions, too many questions, questions that leave me awake at night unable to sleep, questions that drive me to the point of mental exhaustion, questions that leave my head spinning faster than the wheels on Paul Walker’s car during a drag race (too soon?). Those who have read my blogs know that my life has been a rather eventful one, one full of enough heartbreak that it could be an entire season of Game of Thrones and it still wouldn’t scratch the surface. You’re probably wondering what me being Autistic has to do with me being Catholic. I guess this is the part where I say “buckle your seat belts guys, it’s time to take another Ms. Frizzle sanctioned trip on the Magic School Bus into the shit storm that is my head. Continue reading

Game On

Long time no see strange world! Miss me? I thought so. Well I’m back so without further adieu, I’m about to blow your mind so hard J.F.K. would be jealous (too soon?). Now those who know me and those who have read my blogs know how important gaming is to me. I have covered gaming in a number of blogs (Those Awkward Times When Game Consoles Understood Me Better Than People Ever Would, The Graphics Aren’t As Great In Real Life, Neither Are the People, and Somewhere I Belong). When I was younger some would call me obsessed, I thought about video games, talked about them, and day dreamed about them. I hated school and nothing was better than getting home and firing up my Sega Genesis, Super Nintendo, or PlayStation and getting lost in a world that wasn’t my own. Now y’all are probably wondering what was so great about the world within the game. It wasn’t so much the world within the game that was enticing but rather what it helped me get away from. Before we get into that, we have to do a Quentin Tarantino and do a time jump to the present for a bit. Continue reading

The Middle Way

Age 2:

“Flemmings isn’t talking at all, kids normally talk at this age but Flemmings doesn’t say anything”

Age 14:

“Flemmings you talk too much, no one need to know what goes on in our house. Why did you have to tell my co-worker all of that stuff?” Continue reading

There is No Spoon, Then You’ll See That it is Not The Spoon That Bends, It is Only Yourself.

For a while I’ve often been asked a question that I never truly knew how to give a precise answer to. It should be self explanatory but that sad thing is that when you dig deeper things tend to get a bit complicated. Most people who follow Autism awareness know the puzzle piece to be the symbol of Autism and that’s essentially how people perceive the disorder, a puzzle, a mystery that needs to be solved. I often get asked what the point of the puzzle piece and I always approached it symbolically but, yesterday when a friend of mine asked I decided to take a more literal approach to it and when I did it exposed inherent flaws within our society and our approach to the disorder. We as humans make things far more complicated than they’re supposed to be. Continue reading

Those Moments Where I Remember “Oh That’s Right, I’m Autistic”

90% of the time I like to believe that I’m just like everyone else, that I can blend into society and no one would ever notice that there was something off with me. I try as hard as I humanly possibly can to convince myself that I am no different than your average person. This mentality works often works those “moments” happen where I’m reminded that I have Autism and that there’s not much I can do about it. These “moments” usually refer to the way I respond to certain situations that we’re all presented with. The most common situation is change but it doesn’t have to be all types of change, it has to be change that can trigger anxiety or change that isn’t for the better, change that complicates or change that affects my ability to enjoy something how I used to. It can also be change where the results will be unknown for quite some time.

Continue reading