“THAT’S NOT HOW YOU SPELL “FORTNITE” YOU MOTHERFUCKING BOOMER TRASH” is how I’d imagine a gen z punk motherfucker would approach me about this blog title. Joke’s on any potential gen z strawman motherfucker I just stitched together in this post, because I’m a millennial (1988 BITCHES!!!!), But if that were the case, then I would have to assume that you motherfuckers aren’t getting a proper education in those damn schools our tax dollars pay for. We spend more on war than we do a proper education, but that’s a rant for another day. Until then, I think I need to give an English lesson on what a “Fortnight” actually is. Continue reading
Category Archives: Love/Relationships/Dating
Wonderwall V (A Story With A Nice Ring To It)
*This is a continuation of prior posts. If you would like to read this meaty story from the beginning, please click on the following links below*
Wonderwall I (A Catholic Love Story Told In A Not So Catholic Way)
Wonderwall II (The Never Ending Catholic Love Story)
Wonderwall III (A Catholic Love Story Written & Directed By God, Staring Some Crass Autistic Guy)
Wonderwall IV (An Ode To Nana)
*This is a continuation of prior posts. If you would like to read this meaty story from the beginning, please click on the following links below*
Wonderwall I (A Catholic Love Story Told In A Not So Catholic Way)
Wonderwall II (The Never Ending Catholic Love Story)
Wonderwall III (A Catholic Love Story Written & Directed By God, Staring Some Crass Autistic Guy) Continue reading
Wonderwall III (A Catholic Love Story Written & Directed By God, Staring Some Crass Autistic Guy)
*This is a continuation of prior posts. If you would like to read this meaty story from the beginning, please click on the following links below*
Wonderwall I (A Catholic Love Story Told In A Not So Catholic Way)
Wonderwall II (The Never Ending Catholic Love Story)
*This is a continuation of a prior post. If you would like to read this meaty story from the begining, please click on the following link below*
Wonderwall I (A Catholic Love Story Told In A Not So Catholic Way)
Wonderwall I (A Catholic Love Story Told In A Not So Catholic Way)
This is a long ass, multi part, multi faceted blog post, so get some food, an ass pad, and a drink. You’re gonna be here for a bit.
This blog has many elements of my Catholic faith. All you need to know is that everything I’m about to tell you in these next three blog posts are true. There are no coincidences in this life. Continue reading
Let’s Get Dangerous (Between A Rock and The Broad Spectrum)
They always say you should end the year on a high note, I highly doubt this post will constitute as such so work with me alright? This year has been a pretty interesting one given the events of 2015 some good and, some just absolute shit. I had high hopes for 2016 and for the most part it delivered but, there just one thing that has lingered since the middle of last year. If you’ve been avidly reading my blogs then you’re probably going “Not this shit again!”. Yup, it’s definitely this shit again but, we’re going to go down an entirely different rabbit hole and discuss an aspect of dating I’m surprised I never went in full detail about (Definitely not sex! There’s already a blog post for that). It will also chronicle my dating experiences in the last several years and bring us to a sort of dilemma I’ve been having this last week. For those who are new to my blog, the story plays out like this; I’m a single, hopeless romantic that has struggled to find a lasting romantic relationship (Yeah a love sick Autistic guy, how shocking!). Two years ago I was certain I had found my forever woman but, she broke up with me eight months later. Even before that one, I met another woman several years ago I also thought was my forever woman; That relationship also went up in flames. In between the last relationship and now, I’ve gone on three dates, none of them successful. Now the one thing that I don’t often mention about my travels is, there’s a huge difference between the two relationships I was in and, the three women I went on dates on and, a fourth formerly eligible bachelorette that met with an end that has put a sour taste in my mouth. Cough syrup has nothing on how bachelorette number 4 values the time of others. The first two women I was in a relationship with were on the spectrum, the other three weren’t. Continue reading
Two Can Be As Bad As One (It’s The Loneliest Number Since The Number One)
It’s funny how a simple yet very deep and complex lyric from a classic Three Dog Night song can spark inspiration at 2 in the morning. As a matter of fact, it’s funny how ANYTHING can spark inspiration at 2 in the morning. The whole accord is sheer fucking irony if you ask me but, I’m up at 2 am after going to bed at a decent time so let’s get this show on the road shall we? Every now and then I’ll have these random bouts of insomnia that often come out of nowhere but are usually the result of being very anxious and restless. So what’s eating at me this time you ask? It’s the same thing that’s been eating me for almost an entire year and I honestly, I can’t believe I’m about to write another blog about it too. I probably sound like a broken record with all of these blogs about dating and what not but recently it’s all just reached a peak, it also doesn’t help that next week will mark one year of my heart getting ripped in many pieces. Me panicking at 2 am seems very well within the realm of possible scenarios that can happen to me along with some chick on an online dating site trying to hustle me out of $200, someone trying to rope me into a pyramid scheme or, some pseudo Christian cult that’s really a pyramid scheme with a dash of religion trying to recruit me but, those are all stories for another day. Continue reading
Let’s Talk About Sex Baby (READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!!!!!!!)
Alright, I’m going to stray from the norm this time around and touch on what many consider to be taboo. Remember that birds and bees story your parents told you when you were young and naive? Remember those naughty tapes you used to sneak from your uncle’s house and watch in secret when your parents were asleep? Remember when you had that one relative with a cable descrambler and flipping back and fourth between channels B21-24 and remembering the hot keys for Disney Channel and Cartoon Network was your life? Well sit down children, because we’re about to learn about the most important subject ever from someone that society thinks has no business elaborating on it. We’re gonna talk about sex. Now I know what you’re thinking, how can an Autistic person know anything about sex let alone elaborate on it? If this is your rational then congratulations, you’re part of the problem and I hope you feel good about yourself. Now I should note that I’m still a virgin (“VIRGIN?! YOU MEAN WE’RE TAKING SEX ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHOSE NEVER SEEN A VAGINA OUTSIDE OF PORN?!” Yes guys, you are about to read sex advice from someone whose never gotten laid, just hear me out). Continue reading
There Is No One Alive Who Is Youer Than You (Shameless Plugs)
There are honestly way too many words to describe the last few months. To sum it all up, the last few months have been a bigger mess than your living room after Christmas presents have been unwrapped. The last six months have been such a mess that your toddler’s high chair would be jealous. Your child’s bedroom ain’t got nothing on how much of a mess the last couple of months have been. Move over NFC East (football division), what if I told you there was a dating life that was a bigger mess than you guys? And the saga continues like horror movies that can’t decide if they’ve released their last film or if they plan on dropping another shitty sequel. My romance life has decided on shitty sequels because it can’t seem to decide on an epic finisher like a Mortal Kombat player deciding if they want Liu Kang to finish you with a Bicycle Kick or if they want him to transform into a dragon and bite the top half of your body off. Continue reading