Beautiful

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ANY EMOTIONAL VALIDATION WITH THIS BLOG POST. I’M SIMPLY CONVEYING A STRUGGLE I’VE DEALT WITH FOR YEARS IN HOPES IT WILL HELP OTHERS! Continue reading

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The Monster (A Tale From The Glass Prison….)

Monsters are peculiar creatures that take a myriad of different forms depending on the context. Some take the form of terrible hairy beasts, some take the form of really terrible people out to do others harm, and then there are those that take the form of our own thoughts; that voice in your head that decides to break you when you’ve begun to hit a stride. We spend so much time worrying about the first and second monsters that we seem to be completely blindsided by the third. I’ve yet to meet the first kind of monster, I have however met the other two monsters. I grew surrounded by the second type of Monster. These people came in the form of my school bullies, and sadly my own father. The third one wouldn’t manifest itself until I became and adult. The third kind of monster is a sinister being that we don’t even realize we’re dealing with until we wonder why our thought processes are so fucked. We’ve met this monster the day we realize we can’t take compliments. We’ve also met this monster the day you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see. We’ve also met this monster the day things are going really well and you’re all of a sudden bombarded by thoughts of all the things that could possibly go wrong. It’s not a physical monster, it’s one that lives inside of your head. It’s a product of your experiences both good and bad. Now I should note that this phenomenon is very different from schizophrenia; that’s not what we’re gonna talk about here. We’re gonna talk about that train of thought, and what happens when your anxieties and doubts become an accelerant for a fire that becomes notoriously difficult to put put once it gets started. Continue reading

Dear Daddy, I Write You In Spite of Months of Silence

It’s been a long ass time now hasn’t it? Between writing a book, some family drama, a new relationship; life has been an absolute mess in both the best and, worse way possible. My mind has been so much of a mess that the Trump administration would be jealous. As a matter of fact, the Trump Administration wants to trade messes with me right now. The last six months of my life have been both really awesome and, really shitty at the same time but; that’s the sort of thing you’ve gotta deal with when you’re me. Six months ago I met this really awesome woman on Catholic Match who I am now ecstatic to call my girlfriend. Six months ago was also the beginning of drama that would result in me being estranged from my father. You’re probably wondering what the fuck daddy issues have to do with Autism. Quite a bit so buckle up your seat belts bitches; we’re gonna snort 20 lines of coke, take 3 acid tabs, a couple of shrooms and, jump into the really fucked up rabbit hole that is my brain. Continue reading

Master of Disguise (Change Clothes And Go)

Welcome welcome welcome to another exciting edition of the best blog you will every read in this lifetime. It may also be the only blog you’ll need in your lifetime. This weekend I had the opportunity to enjoy another epic time at PAX East, one of this biggest gaming/nerd conventions on the eastern seaboard. I’ve been attending the convention since its youthful beginnings in 2010 as a small show. The show has only grown exponentially over the years. Starting in 2014, I begin Cosplaying (The practice of dressing up as a character from a movie, book, anime, or video game). Cosplaying was something I always wanted to do but, never had the courage to pull off due to lack of confidence. I’d see all these ambitious looking cosplays and would get super intimidated. In 2014 I decided I would come out of my comfort zone and attempt an outfit. It wasn’t anything overly ambitious, just something from one of my favorite game shows of all time (Legends of the Hidden Temple). It was such a thrilling experience for me because I was finally diving into something I loved. It was also liberating due to the bullying I experienced as a child.  Continue reading

The Bully Pulpit

[WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE & GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF ABUSE]

Hello world! Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday because, we’re about to kick some more ass. After yet another blog about a my shitty love life, it’s time to talk about some more serious matters. Are any of you guys familiar with the phrase “The Bully Pulpit” No? I thought so. For those who aren’t, A bully pulpit is a conspicuous position that provides an opportunity to speak out and be listened to. The term was coined by President Theodore Roosevelt, who referred to the White House as a “bully pulpit”, by which he meant a terrific platform from which to advocate an agenda. To put it in simpler terms; It’s a place both physically and, figuratively where you spout any message good or bad and, people will hear it loud and clear whether they want to or not. Those who often follow my blogs will know that I often touch the subject of bullying, a subject that unfortunately hits home for me. Growing up I got bullied quite a bit. The scars still linger from my many ordeals and, I sometimes struggle greatly with my self esteem. People with disabilities get bullied and, even abused at a disproportionate rate. Now I’ve never really touched the subject of abuse but, we need to talk about two stories that have made they news as of late and unfortunately for reasons that over shadow an even bigger problem in our society. Continue reading

The Devil’s Advocate (Me Before The World)

(WARNING, THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM THE MOVIE “ME BEFORE YOU”. IF YOU’D LIKE TO WATCH THE MOVIE BEFORE READING THIS POST THEN DON’T READ ANY FURTHER, IF YOU’VE WATCHED THE MOVIE YOU COULDN’T CARE LESS THEN READ ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Continue reading

I Like Warm Hugs!

Hello weird world, it’s been some time but I’m back and I’m ready to drop some more of that uber awesome knowledge of mine. So this weekend I decided to do something a little, interesting. I decided to attend this event called “Hugging Therapy” and to those whose minds have already leap frogged into the gutter, not that kind of hugging. This event was designed to create a strictly platonic environment where those who were hurting or wished to form some sort of connection could do that in a safe space. Now you’re probably wondering what could be bothering me so much that I would desire hugs from total strangers (I l knew three of the people from outside of this session), we’ll get to that. Needless to say, I learnt way more about myself that day than I have in an entire year and maybe my entire life. Continue reading