I Like Warm Hugs!

Hello weird world, it’s been some time but I’m back and I’m ready to drop some more of that uber awesome knowledge of mine. So this weekend I decided to do something a little, interesting. I decided to attend this event called “Hugging Therapy” and to those whose minds have already leap frogged into the gutter, not that kind of hugging. This event was designed to create a strictly platonic environment where those who were hurting or wished to form some sort of connection could do that in a safe space. Now you’re probably wondering what could be bothering me so much that I would desire hugs from total strangers (I l knew three of the people from outside of this session), we’ll get to that. Needless to say, I learnt way more about myself that day than I have in an entire year and maybe my entire life.

Now about why I needed a couple hugs, I’ve been doing something that I have become horrifically notorious for and that’s trying to deal with my problems alone while shutting loved ones out. One particular problem that has weighed heavily on me is my dating life or lack thereof. You see back in march when I finally turned 28, I was hit with this profound sadness and loneliness as a result of not being in a long term relationship or finding someone that was willing to give me a chance. It seems really sappy to some which is the reason why I don’t confide in people about this struggle. In the past when I’ve ranted about this sort of thing people got tired of it pretty quickly, even to the point that I felt as if I was wasting the time of others and my own. It seems weird that I’d feel so alone even though I had great friends but I did, it was almost as if something was missing. They say when we date someone we give a piece of ourselves to that one person, when I got dumped last summer I felt like I lost a huge part of myself. It’s as if that Chicago song “If You Leave Me Now” finally came to life in the worse way possible.

Ever since that summer there’s been this void that wasn’t very easy to fill. All the video games, football, friends, food, working out, and others couldn’t satisfy my restlessness. I’ve even struggled greatly with my own faith in the last year and it hit such a peak it inspired this awesome blog post. Anyways, I was in dire need of a a couple hugs so I decided to check this even out. In that hour and a half, I embarked on a journey of self discovery that would blow my own mind harder than a bullet to the head. I’ve made a living of blowing the minds of others but every now and then, mine will also get blown. Now we did a couple of reflective exercises and during those exercises I made some pretty stunning revelations about myself.

  1. Believe it or not, I kind of suck at taking compliments. Over the years I’ve always felt a bit weird or awkward when people say nice things about me and I couldn’t understand why. It turns out this is one of the many lingering scars from being bullied, people either pretended to be nice to me or I couldn’t detect their sarcasm which makes it really hard for me to figure out whether or not someone is being genuine with me.
  2. We were told to give each other compliments either on a whim or using a list of example compliments. The most common compliments I used was, “I’m glad you’re here” and “the world needs someone like you”. These particular ones resonated with me because they are words I wish I heard more and words I had to constantly tell myself around the time I was battling with suicidal thoughts. Ever since then, I feel as though everyone needs to hear those words regardless, especially those who question their worth in this world.
  3. You’re never really the only person that is currently enduring the same struggles as you and until you open up, your mind will always convince you otherwise.
  4. I really like hugs, even ones from people who I have never met in my life. There’s something very comforting about a hug which is interesting because hugs from people other than my family felt kind of weird when I was younger.

I never knew how truly powerful a hug was until this weekend and realized that many people are in dire need of one. I’m inspired to jump far ouside of my comfort zone walk around Boston with a “free hugs” sign to see where that will lead. I will elaborate on that experience in another blog post and until then, stay classy….

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One thought on “I Like Warm Hugs!

  1. The world DOES need someone like you Flemmings.

    “until you open up, your mind will always convince you otherwise”.

    Have a few friends in Boston metro who need a few hugs from total strangers.

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