The Color of Pain

Hello world! I’m alive and well and have not been kidnapped by Serbian mobsters if you’ve been wondering why you haven’t seen a blog from yours truly. There’s been a lot of crazy shit in the news in my absence, something about an election and some guy that everyone hates ruling the iron throne. Apparently he killed some woman name Hillary in one of the most shocking plot twists ever in a TV show. Hillary was winning every single battle and just when she has the upper hand, this guy name Trump just storms the back door and practically cuts her throat. That’s a hell of a TV show! Wait, you mean that happened in real life? Damn fam! That’s not what this blog is about though, we here at the Epic Autistic stay the fuck out of politics and will not be talking about this further. It will however continue to be a constant source of jokes, metaphors, puns, analogies and, all the wonderful literary devices that your English teacher rammed down your throat like your name was Linda Lovelace (Yes that is a porn reference, we’re all adults here). Now that I’m done with that little tirade, it’s time to talk about the other things in the news. You know, the stuff that actually has to do with this blog. Recently, Kanye West was admitted to the hospital for a slew of psychiatric problems. Love or hate Kanye, mental heath is something we ALL should be talking about. A month ago, Kid Cudi also checked himself into rehab for depression and suicidal thoughts. These guys have plenty in common, they celebrities, the famous artists, they’re rich as fuck and, they’re black. Continue reading

I Like Warm Hugs!

Hello weird world, it’s been some time but I’m back and I’m ready to drop some more of that uber awesome knowledge of mine. So this weekend I decided to do something a little, interesting. I decided to attend this event called “Hugging Therapy” and to those whose minds have already leap frogged into the gutter, not that kind of hugging. This event was designed to create a strictly platonic environment where those who were hurting or wished to form some sort of connection could do that in a safe space. Now you’re probably wondering what could be bothering me so much that I would desire hugs from total strangers (I l knew three of the people from outside of this session), we’ll get to that. Needless to say, I learnt way more about myself that day than I have in an entire year and maybe my entire life. Continue reading

Smile Empty Soul (Depression Through The Looking Glass)

It you haven’t seen the recent Pixar movie “Inside Out”, y’all need to watch that ASAP!!!!! That movie will change your life in ways you couldn’t imagine. Now the movie follows a girl through her life and a major transition that will rattle her emotions. Her core emotions (anger, fear, joy, sadness, and disgust) are presented in a personified form and you get to witness how each of these emotions work to manage through a tough time in the main character’s life. The basic premise of the film is that you have a girl who has grown accustom to her life in Minnesota. One day you find out that her father has gotten a new job in San Francisco and they movie across the country which sends her emotions and her entire nervous system which is represented by a control center into complete chaos. Each emotion handles each new situation in their own unique fashion with the emotion Joy trying to keep everything together. Certain events in the film cause the emotions Joy and Sadness to get separated from the rest of the crew and the rest are left to manage the best they can. Continue reading

Robin Williams: What His Passing Teaches Us About Depression

I lost a part of my childhood yesterday. Those who grew up in the 90s remember Robin Williams from classic films like Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, Flubber, Jumanji, and many others. His humor will forever remain in my memory as a staple of my childhood and one of the many things that got me through dark time. Behind the laughs however was a man who battled with depression. I just want to take this time to say that depression is no joke. As mentioned in previous blog posts (see Forever Loved -For Those Who Need It The Most-¬†and That Place Where Every One is Just As Broken As You), I have battled through depression at some of the lowest points in my life and even came pretty close to ending my life. Even after years of touching upon this subject I still feel pretty uneasy doing so because there’s such a nasty stigma associated with depression and other mental illnesses. Continue reading

That Place Where Everyone Is Just As Broken As You

WARNING: SOME STRONG LANGUAGE! READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Ugh, it’s that time again, that time that comes every one to three months where I have to take the walk of shame but to where you ask? It’s sometimes the last place you’d like to be, especially when it because the reason you’re there in the first place involves a rather sensitive issue that I’ve covered in a few blogs. As you take that walk you try to recount where you’ve been emotionally the last few months and if you happen to encounter any “triggers” in your travels through the minefield known as life. It is in those moments this you remember that once again it’s time to see your psychiatrist.
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What is Happiness?

What does it mean to be happy in this world? Does being happy mean to be in the company of your friends? Maybe your family? Maybe for someone being happy is having all the money in the world or maybe it’s having all the women your charm can get you. Happiness for one person can be completely different for another. Maybe happiness for someone can simply be a place whether it be mental or physical. Maybe it can simply be an idea, who knows. Continue reading

Forever Loved ~For Those Who Need It the Most~

In honor of National Suicide Prevention Day I will be writing a blog post that needs to be written. Now in my earlier posts I have touched upon my issues with depression and my battles with suicidal thoughts. Tonight’s blog post however won’t be all about me, It’ll be all about you and those who need it the most. Now in those moments when I contemplated ending my life it was usually after feeling a sense of hopelessness but there was another component to this twisted puzzle that I never truly delved into until I really started examining myself.

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