Love in the Time of Corona (A Dance in the Rain…)

“They call me Slim Shady, I’m back! I’m Back!”

No, okay

“GUESS WHO’S BACK MOTHERFUCKERS! PUNS IN A CLIP!”

No? Okay, how about,

“Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back”

Still no?! Fuck it, I’M BACK BITCHES!!!!!!!!!! Continue reading

The Executive Branch (The Executive Of All My Mental Functions)

No, I’m afraid this blog post isn’t about President “Not Everybody’s President” Donald “Mine is Bigger” Trump. I don’t care to waste a blog post ranting about this guy at the moment, so instead we’re going to talk about something else that is probably more relevant to my life as well as the lives of others on the spectrum. Executive functions are a subject we as humans don’t broach, because often times a neurotypical never has to worry about this; They work without you having to do much about it. The executive functions are a set of processes that all have to do with managing oneself and one’s resources in order to achieve a goal. It is an umbrella term for the neurologically-based skills involving mental control and self-regulation. To break it down, executive functions fall into several key categories, Continue reading

Master of Disguise (Change Clothes And Go)

Welcome welcome welcome to another exciting edition of the best blog you will every read in this lifetime. It may also be the only blog you’ll need in your lifetime. This weekend I had the opportunity to enjoy another epic time at PAX East, one of this biggest gaming/nerd conventions on the eastern seaboard. I’ve been attending the convention since its youthful beginnings in 2010 as a small show. The show has only grown exponentially over the years. Starting in 2014, I begin Cosplaying (The practice of dressing up as a character from a movie, book, anime, or video game). Cosplaying was something I always wanted to do but, never had the courage to pull off due to lack of confidence. I’d see all these ambitious looking cosplays and would get super intimidated. In 2014 I decided I would come out of my comfort zone and attempt an outfit. It wasn’t anything overly ambitious, just something from one of my favorite game shows of all time (Legends of the Hidden Temple). It was such a thrilling experience for me because I was finally diving into something I loved. It was also liberating due to the bullying I experienced as a child.  Continue reading

Grumpy Old Men (It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday)

For once in my life I’m not blogging about my shitty love life and it’s such a relief. Today however, I will be going into bitter old Grampa mode and raving about how fucking awesome my childhood was aside from the bullying and the doctors visits and some of the shitty teachers. I spent much of my memorial day weekend reliving my childhood, I watched some Rugrats followed by 92′ X-Men, then I spent the afternoon playing a bunch of my old school gaming consoles, some Super Nintendo, some Sega Genesis and to get a bit more obscure, some Sega Saturn, and some Turbo Grafx 16. Some of y’all children might not be familiar with the latter two but as a matter of fact, there are a lot of things that y’all children might not be familiar with because they died with one of the greatest eras of all time. Now what we consider the greatest era of all time may be a matter of perspective, those who lived in the 60s loved it, those who lived the 70s loved it, those who lived in the 80s thought it was pretty lit but there was something special about the 90s that made it one of the more memorable decades in existence. Now, one of the most common questions that I’ve been staring to hear is “Why do 90s children get so nostalgic about their childhood and are bitter about the present?” or “Why are you guys so obsessed with the past?”. A lot of it comes down to simplicity and the magic of infinite possibility, our bitterness as to do with how a glass ceiling that seemed so non existent slowly dropped lower than the assess in a Flo-rida song. Now to give you some perspective of how awesome our childhood was, I gotta take you back to those early years through the younger me.

*Cues 90s style flashback transition* Continue reading

Game On

Long time no see strange world! Miss me? I thought so. Well I’m back so without further adieu, I’m about to blow your mind so hard J.F.K. would be jealous (too soon?). Now those who know me and those who have read my blogs know how important gaming is to me. I have covered gaming in a number of blogs (Those Awkward Times When Game Consoles Understood Me Better Than People Ever Would, The Graphics Aren’t As Great In Real Life, Neither Are the People, and Somewhere I Belong). When I was younger some would call me obsessed, I thought about video games, talked about them, and day dreamed about them. I hated school and nothing was better than getting home and firing up my Sega Genesis, Super Nintendo, or PlayStation and getting lost in a world that wasn’t my own. Now y’all are probably wondering what was so great about the world within the game. It wasn’t so much the world within the game that was enticing but rather what it helped me get away from. Before we get into that, we have to do a Quentin Tarantino and do a time jump to the present for a bit. Continue reading

Small Talk, Big Problems

There’s this gorgeous looking lady at the gym I go to, like gorgeous. I’ve yet to see her smile but she looks like she has a million dollar smile. Did I mention she’s got glasses? I’m a sucker for women with glasses. In a perfect world I should be able to walk up to her and start flirting and yet I’m paralyzed with fear. I don’t even know where to start or how to get her attention in a way that I don’t seem like some random guy going to strike conversation with her when she’s trying to workout. There’s also this other gorgeous lady that takes the same bus and train I do. I can’t muster up the courage to talk to her either. In my life time the two women I’ve dated had made the first move so I’m not very good at initiating anything. I’m about as bad at initiating things as a someone too distracted by a movie to feel up their significant other when their practically putting up the Bat Symbol (For those wondering about the ever so lovely girl I dedicated a blog to a few months back, that shit is over like a game of Mario when the Nintendo breaks. I really don’t want to get into the details but the I’ve got a story of my tragic love life larger than all of the Game of Thrones books combined and it just got enough pages to make a replica of the tree that all of that paper came from). I sit awake some nights wondering why I suck so much with women and it all goes back to one of the biggest struggles someone on the spectrum can have. Continue reading

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends #3 (X Marks the Spot)

Long time no see world! It’s been quite some time since I graced the world with my presence. Well I’m back and I’m ready to kick more ass than a person whose bestie got cheated on. I’m about to blow your mind harder than a donkey kicking some poor soul in the head. Now in previous iterations of this blog series I have covered various assertive technologies. Now to those who are new to my blogs or those who are new to the subject or need a refresher, assistive technology is any piece of equipment whether it be technical or bare bones that eases the life of someone with a disability or an impairment of any varying degree. For some, that may be an augmentative communication device, or others it maybe something as simple a program that increases the size of text, for another it may be a robotic arm that allows a fellow colleague of yours to feed themselves for the first time ever but we’ll get to that latter one in a future blog post on the subject. What ever it may be, it is designed with the purpose of making tasks that were once difficult or even down right impossible somewhat easier. Continue reading

Back In My Day, Gates Only Involved Water, Nipples, and Spying

Remember the days when a “gate” involved an office complex? What about that “gate” that involved my home football team (The New England Patriots) spying on other teams during games? Oh, remember that “gate that involved Janet Jackson’s nipples (greatest seconds in television history if you’re a guy or a girl that interested in that sort of thing, I won’t judge, this blog is as safe zone as it gets). Anyways, before I get carried about about Janet Jackson’s nipples or how Justin Timberlake purposely ripped that breast plate off (He could have been a gentleman and covered her but he sat there twiddling his thumbs and watched what we watched for as long as it took for the cameras to move away). Now before I get really get carried away I need to explain to you what a “gate” is and what this has to do with me. A “gate” is a scandal and when referring to a scandal you attach that suffix at the end of whatever noun refers to that scandal. The origin of this term is the infamous “Watergate Scandal” that involved the Nixon administration and took place at the Watergate complex. An example of this phrase would be the whole Janet Jackson Superbowl incident was referred to as “nipplegate” because it involved her breast getting exposed on national TV in front of millions of families including children (OMG THE CHILDREN, ANYTHING BUT THE CHILDREN, LITTLE TIMMY DOESN’T WANT TO SEE JANET JACKSON’S BREAST). Listen, before I get back on topic, little Timmy enjoyed all three seconds of that as much as I did, maybe even more so stop being so naive. Your child has seen way more than nipples at his age if he’s lucky. You can’t protect your kids from smut no matter how hard you try. Now, let’s get back on track and don’t let me get derailed again otherwise you might get run over. Continue reading

All I Want For My Birthday is a Big Booty Hoe (A Look Back At an Epic Year of Blogging)

Damn! You mean this blog is really a year old? Wow, It’s still hard to believe I’ve been writing this blog for an entire year. 50 something posts later and I’m still getting started. Before we take a look back through a great year I just want to take this time to thank all of my loyal readers, you guys are the reason why I delicate the energy I do to this blog. It is an honor to have the opportunity to use my experiences to enlighten everyone. Well without further adieu, lets go through my top favorite blog posts from the year in chronological order. This list will serve as a refresher for those who have been reading my blog since the beginning and as a sampler for any newcomers. Continue reading

There is No Spoon, Then You’ll See That it is Not The Spoon That Bends, It is Only Yourself.

For a while I’ve often been asked a question that I never truly knew how to give a precise answer to. It should be self explanatory but that sad thing is that when you dig deeper things tend to get a bit complicated. Most people who follow Autism awareness know the puzzle piece to be the symbol of Autism and that’s essentially how people perceive the disorder, a puzzle, a mystery that needs to be solved. I often get asked what the point of the puzzle piece and I always approached it symbolically but, yesterday when a friend of mine asked I decided to take a more literal approach to it and when I did it exposed inherent flaws within our society and our approach to the disorder. We as humans make things far more complicated than they’re supposed to be. Continue reading