The Devil’s Advocate (Me Before The World)

(WARNING, THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM THE MOVIE “ME BEFORE YOU”. IF YOU’D LIKE TO WATCH THE MOVIE BEFORE READING THIS POST THEN DON’T READ ANY FURTHER, IF YOU’VE WATCHED THE MOVIE YOU COULDN’T CARE LESS THEN READ ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Continue reading

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Back In My Day, Gates Only Involved Water, Nipples, and Spying

Remember the days when a “gate” involved an office complex? What about that “gate” that involved my home football team (The New England Patriots) spying on other teams during games? Oh, remember that “gate that involved Janet Jackson’s nipples (greatest seconds in television history if you’re a guy or a girl that interested in that sort of thing, I won’t judge, this blog is as safe zone as it gets). Anyways, before I get carried about about Janet Jackson’s nipples or how Justin Timberlake purposely ripped that breast plate off (He could have been a gentleman and covered her but he sat there twiddling his thumbs and watched what we watched for as long as it took for the cameras to move away). Now before I get really get carried away I need to explain to you what a “gate” is and what this has to do with me. A “gate” is a scandal and when referring to a scandal you attach that suffix at the end of whatever noun refers to that scandal. The origin of this term is the infamous “Watergate Scandal” that involved the Nixon administration and took place at the Watergate complex. An example of this phrase would be the whole Janet Jackson Superbowl incident was referred to as “nipplegate” because it involved her breast getting exposed on national TV in front of millions of families including children (OMG THE CHILDREN, ANYTHING BUT THE CHILDREN, LITTLE TIMMY DOESN’T WANT TO SEE JANET JACKSON’S BREAST). Listen, before I get back on topic, little Timmy enjoyed all three seconds of that as much as I did, maybe even more so stop being so naive. Your child has seen way more than nipples at his age if he’s lucky. You can’t protect your kids from smut no matter how hard you try. Now, let’s get back on track and don’t let me get derailed again otherwise you might get run over. Continue reading

Keep On Truckin’ (One Nation, Underdog…)

So yesterday I had to watch my football team, the New England Patriots get their asses mercilessly handed to them by none other than the Denver Broncos, a team we barely beat in overtime a few games ago thanks to one of the best comebacks in the history of our franchise. ¬†Yesterday we played the Broncos again for the AFC Championship and the right to go to the Superbowl. We fell and we fell hard to a Broncos team that fought like true champions. Any loss of that magnitude hurts but it hurts even more given what the team had to endure prior to and during this season. We loss Wes Welker to the none other than the Broncos due to our team’s inability to but fourth a competitive salary. We loss Aaron Hernandez to, well the entire country already knows how much of an idiot Hernandez is so I’m not even doing to share my two cents on that one. Rob Gronkowski, our star tight end and probably the best NFL receiver in recent memory due to his giant hands, his height, and unbelievable speed was rehabbing injuries from the previous season and wouldn’t be cleared to play until several weeks into the season. With the loss of a very dominant receiver core and the introduction of many rookie players, every sports commentator in existence spelled doom and gloom for our team. No one thought we had a chance at the playoffs this year and everyone wrote us off before we even had a chance to prove ourselves. In those first five games we played during the season, it was obvious our offense was hurting. We barely won games and the lack of a good offense ended up tasking our defensive line greatly which resulted in a nasty ripple effect in the form of losses critical losses to our D Line (Vince Wilfork and Tommy Kelly). Even with a good amount of wins and a lead in our division things were looking grim. Our rookies were sloppy and teams were easily destroying our defensive line. Yet somehow our team always managed to pull through despite the shitty hand they were dealt. Our team had a reliance I had yet see until now. Continue reading

Those Days Where Your Best Doesn’t Feel Like it’s Good Enough

So one day I’m at an arcade playing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) and as usual, a crowd forms around me because it isn’t everyday that they see people who could move so fast with such precision. When the song is said and done with, everyone applauds and is totally floored by my performance. Everyone is in awe and people think it’s the greatest thing they’ve seen. Everyone watching believes it was incredibly stellar, everyone except me. You see, every seems to be in awe that I managed to hit about 490/500+ steps in one song. I on the other hand am in awe that I missed those ten arrows and should have been able to hit them. While everyone is in awe about what they just saw, I’m sitting there analyzing EVERYTHING I did wrong. There is no longer “I did the best I could”, there is only “that totally sucked, I can do so much better, that was pathetic”. In those moments I realized that I ‘m perfectionist and that I seem t never take what I can get. Continue reading