I Got Broads In Atlanta (Southern Hospitality)

It’s 6 am and we’ve missed our flight to Boston. This WiFi is like that late night hook up you’ve brought home, they’re terrible at what they do but you haven’t gotten any in a while so you’ve gotta take what you can get. Can we just talk about how much I despise TSA? We pour a chunk of our budget into this hot mess yet the process is never as smooth as silk, I prefer the term “flint against sand paper with every accelerant you could think of” but we’ll get to that. I had the opportunity to spend a week and half in Atlanta where the players play and we ride on them thangs like every day, a place where parties apparently don’t stop til’ 8 in the morning. I can tell you that there were no such parties where I stayed but, I’m sure they exist in some capacity in the heart of the city. Travelling can be a roller coaster of events where there’s never a dull moment. The south is such an interesting place and to a New Englander like me, it’s like stepping into Narnia. I don’t know if this is what Aladdin meant by showing us a whole new world but, it comes pretty damn close. The south is home to some interesting customs, some questionable choice of flags, some of the best damn food I’ve eaten, some of the lowest property values I’ve seen in years and, crazy humidity. In list form, I shall elaborate on my experiences in the South. Continue reading

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Love Actually (It’s Still a Better Love Story Than Twilight)

If anyone ever tells you that falling love is this magical feeling where the planets align and you’re in this blissful mood where everything is awesome or that falling in love is like a Disney movie where all the animals start singing and everything is colorful and shit then they lied man, they lied. They lied so hard their nose is longer than a giraffes neck. Their nose is so long it swings in pendulum fashion like Ron Jeremy’s manhood (please don’t look that thing up, you’ll go blind). Falling in love isn’t as simple or fun or colorful as people make it out to be. Falling in love can be the most overwhelming and uncomfortable feeling one ever experiences. While many call this phenomenon love, I personally like to call it “Oh Goddamnit! Not this shit again! Anything but this!”. The bible claims that love doesn’t hurt but that’s honestly the biggest lie I’ve heard since Aaron Hernandez’s claim of innocence (too soon?). Love is awkward, uncomfortable, overwhelming, exciting, and beautiful all at the same damn time. Continue reading