Master of Disguise (Change Clothes And Go)

Welcome welcome welcome to another exciting edition of the best blog you will every read in this lifetime. It may also be the only blog you’ll need in your lifetime. This weekend I had the opportunity to enjoy another epic time at PAX East, one of this biggest gaming/nerd conventions on the eastern seaboard. I’ve been attending the convention since its youthful beginnings in 2010 as a small show. The show has only grown exponentially over the years. Starting in 2014, I begin Cosplaying (The practice of dressing up as a character from a movie, book, anime, or video game). Cosplaying was something I always wanted to do but, never had the courage to pull off due to lack of confidence. I’d see all these ambitious looking cosplays and would get super intimidated. In 2014 I decided I would come out of my comfort zone and attempt an outfit. It wasn’t anything overly ambitious, just something from one of my favorite game shows of all time (Legends of the Hidden Temple). It was such a thrilling experience for me because I was finally diving into something I loved. It was also liberating due to the bullying I experienced as a child.  Continue reading

Soundtrack 2 My Life

Music has always been a huge part of my life. From a young age I noticed music on the radio quickly and would constantly hum it. When I was 11 I started walking around with a walkman everywhere I went. When I was 14, I got my first portable CD player. When I turned 16, I got my first MP3 player and, it was at that point that the floodgates of my musical love busted wide open. I remember that MP3 player vividly, it was a Dell Digital Jukebox 15. It was a 15 GB MP3 player which by today’s standards is pretty small but, in 2004 it was a huge deal. Being able to carry a growing library of CDs around with me totally blew my mind. Unfortunately it broke a year later and it was the most depressing thing ever. I just remember being in a shitty mood for a very long time because I had no means of carrying my collection with me. The CD player was simply a small band aid on an open gash. I wouldn’t get another MP3 player again until the following year but, it paled in comparison to my beloved Dell Jukebox. I wouldn’t get another high capacity MP3 player until 2008 when I used the money I saved during a summer job to get an 80 GB iPod Classic. My music collection increased exponentially between then and the end of my senior year of college. Eventually my music collection would out grow that iPod and, I would have to buy an 160 GB iPod Classic. I’ve sadly out grown that iPod too and often have to rotate out music based on what I’m listening to. You’re probably wondering how one fills an 160 GB iPod Classic; Well, I listen to pretty much everything except for country and, I have full cataloges for all the artists I have on there. I also have a ton of video game soundtracks and, music from a lot of international artists. Those who see me on a regular basis will know I never leave my house without my headphones. I wear my headphones everywhere I go, even in places it’s not socially acceptable to like in church. Now you’re probably wondering what music has to do with tonight’s blog. Over the years, there have been a few songs that have spoken to me in a way that not many have. They’re also songs tied to very critical points in my life or, have helped me to convey pretty complex emotions. In no particular order, here are the songs/albums. Continue reading

Grumpy Old Men (It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday)

For once in my life I’m not blogging about my shitty love life and it’s such a relief. Today however, I will be going into bitter old Grampa mode and raving about how fucking awesome my childhood was aside from the bullying and the doctors visits and some of the shitty teachers. I spent much of my memorial day weekend reliving my childhood, I watched some Rugrats followed by 92′ X-Men, then I spent the afternoon playing a bunch of my old school gaming consoles, some Super Nintendo, some Sega Genesis and to get a bit more obscure, some Sega Saturn, and some Turbo Grafx 16. Some of y’all children might not be familiar with the latter two but as a matter of fact, there are a lot of things that y’all children might not be familiar with because they died with one of the greatest eras of all time. Now what we consider the greatest era of all time may be a matter of perspective, those who lived in the 60s loved it, those who lived the 70s loved it, those who lived in the 80s thought it was pretty lit but there was something special about the 90s that made it one of the more memorable decades in existence. Now, one of the most common questions that I’ve been staring to hear is “Why do 90s children get so nostalgic about their childhood and are bitter about the present?” or “Why are you guys so obsessed with the past?”. A lot of it comes down to simplicity and the magic of infinite possibility, our bitterness as to do with how a glass ceiling that seemed so non existent slowly dropped lower than the assess in a Flo-rida song. Now to give you some perspective of how awesome our childhood was, I gotta take you back to those early years through the younger me.

*Cues 90s style flashback transition* Continue reading

Out of The Frying Pan, Into The Fire

It’s been quite some time since I wrote a blog post (okay it hasn’t been too long but it sure feels like forever). So long story short, after years of searching I finally have a job and needless to say the last few weeks have definitely had that “out of the frying pan, into the fire” sort of feel to it. So for those who don’t know what I do for 20 hours a week, I’m an Assistive Technology assistant. What does my job consist of you ask? I get to play with a shitton of awesome toys (A little over 1000 to be exact) but all for a good cause though. For those who aren’t familiar with assistive technology, you can check out the blog posts “I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends” and “I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends #2”. For those who are too lazy to take the time to read some excellent blog posts from yours truly, assistive technology is any piece of equipment whether it be technical or bare bones that eases the life of someone with a disability or an impairment of any varying degree. For some, that may be an augmentative communication device, or others it maybe something as simple a program that increases the size of text, for another it may be a robotic arm that allows a fellow colleague of yours to feed themselves for the first time ever but we’ll get to that latter one in a future blog post on the subject. What ever it may be, it is designed with the purpose of making tasks that were once difficult or even down right impossible somewhat easier. Now I do my work with none other than Easter Seals in a center I barely new anything about until almost a year ago. Continue reading

The League of Extraordinary Women

Over the course of this roller coaster ride of a life there have been many people who have entered my life with the sole purpose of helping me and getting to where I am to day. While many have left their mark in their own unique ways, there are a few of them that have had a bigger impact than they intended to. Coincidentally these five people are all women not that I’m complaining, it’s just an interesting coincidence. If there was a League of Extraordinary women, these ladies would be it and with out further adieu I present to you these lovely women in no particular order. Continue reading

Dance, When You’re Broken Open. Dance, If You’ve Torn the Bandage Off.

A month ago I celebrated nine years of playing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution). Now people who have known me through college and high school know me as a pro DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) player who moves like lightning across a DDR pad and almost never misses a step. While it seems like a simple hobby on the surface, there is a story to this madness that dates as far back as Sophomore year of high school. Now you’re probably wondering what DDR has to do with me being Autistic, it has a lot to do with the subject in ways people couldn’t ever imagine. Those who read my Autism Awareness posts last year will remember the basis of this story however this post goes into greater depth. Continue reading

Somewhere I Belong

We live in a world where we’re constantly trying to fit in somewhere. Whether it’s in school or at your job or even in your families, we’re always molding ourselves to the expectations of others, usually at the cost of our personalities and the things we truly love. Fitting in for anyone can be tricky, fitting in for anyone on the spectrum can be a an entirely different bag of worms. Those who know me and those who have followed my blogs will know that fitting in hasn’t been the easiest thing for me. Growing up I never felt like I belonged anywhere. Through much of my childhood I filled that void with video games and cartoons, the only escape I had from what was a very confusing and chaotic childhood (Read the blog “Those Awkward Times When Game Consoles Understood Me Better Than People Ever Would….” for details on the subject). The love for video games followed me through my youth and eventually my adulthood. Over the years I grew to be very nerdy and geeky and that truly set me apart from people, mostly in the worse way possible. It’s not very easy for me to make friends with any joe schmo. Realizing that a lot of people, women especially don’t dig the whole nerd thing I usually have to turn that part of me off when I meet brand new people I don’t know all that well in order to avoid weirding them out or giving them the wrong idea. Continue reading

Keep On Truckin’ (One Nation, Underdog…)

So yesterday I had to watch my football team, the New England Patriots get their asses mercilessly handed to them by none other than the Denver Broncos, a team we barely beat in overtime a few games ago thanks to one of the best comebacks in the history of our franchise.  Yesterday we played the Broncos again for the AFC Championship and the right to go to the Superbowl. We fell and we fell hard to a Broncos team that fought like true champions. Any loss of that magnitude hurts but it hurts even more given what the team had to endure prior to and during this season. We loss Wes Welker to the none other than the Broncos due to our team’s inability to but fourth a competitive salary. We loss Aaron Hernandez to, well the entire country already knows how much of an idiot Hernandez is so I’m not even doing to share my two cents on that one. Rob Gronkowski, our star tight end and probably the best NFL receiver in recent memory due to his giant hands, his height, and unbelievable speed was rehabbing injuries from the previous season and wouldn’t be cleared to play until several weeks into the season. With the loss of a very dominant receiver core and the introduction of many rookie players, every sports commentator in existence spelled doom and gloom for our team. No one thought we had a chance at the playoffs this year and everyone wrote us off before we even had a chance to prove ourselves. In those first five games we played during the season, it was obvious our offense was hurting. We barely won games and the lack of a good offense ended up tasking our defensive line greatly which resulted in a nasty ripple effect in the form of losses critical losses to our D Line (Vince Wilfork and Tommy Kelly). Even with a good amount of wins and a lead in our division things were looking grim. Our rookies were sloppy and teams were easily destroying our defensive line. Yet somehow our team always managed to pull through despite the shitty hand they were dealt. Our team had a reliance I had yet see until now. Continue reading

Holding Onto Anger is like Drinking Poison and Expecting the Other Person to Die

A wise person once said that “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. What would happen if despite some of your best efforts there are times where  you can’t help but continue to take sips of that poison because long after the fact you’ve been hurt, the memory can sometimes drive you mad, it stares you in your face like a nasty scar. The wound maybe closed but the memories will always remain. You continue to sip that poison because some days the memory hurts so badly that you feel as if the crime justifies the hate. Continue reading

Me, Awesome? You’re Not Lying Are You?

So imagine going a huge chunk of your life with people doubting you everywhere you go. Imagine getting things thrown at you on a daily basis because people thought you were weird and there for it was funny to get cheap thrills off of making fun of the special kid. Imagine people constantly calling you a retard or SPED monkey or people waiting for you to talk in class so that they could mock your voice. Imagine people forcing themselves to be nice to you because you’re so strange to them that they have to try incredibly hard to find redeeming qualities that clearly don’t exist to them, they try so hard that they no longer come off as genuine, as a matter of fact they seem so fake that it makes Santa and the tooth fairy or bigfoot or the end of the rainbow become the realest things ever. Imagine dealing with so many fake people that when the genuine ones come along, even they feel fake. You constantly put up a wall when people get too close because you fear getting hurt. As genuine as those trying to get close are, you fear that it may be all another facade. The scariest thing of them all is when people tell you that they like you or that you’re awesome or that you’re a great friend. Continue reading