Smile Empty Soul (Depression Through The Looking Glass)

It you haven’t seen the recent Pixar movie “Inside Out”, y’all need to watch that ASAP!!!!! That movie will change your life in ways you couldn’t imagine. Now the movie follows a girl through her life and a major transition that will rattle her emotions. Her core emotions (anger, fear, joy, sadness, and disgust) are presented in a personified form and you get to witness how each of these emotions work to manage through a tough time in the main character’s life. The basic premise of the film is that you have a girl who has grown accustom to her life in Minnesota. One day you find out that her father has gotten a new job in San Francisco and they movie across the country which sends her emotions and her entire nervous system which is represented by a control center into complete chaos. Each emotion handles each new situation in their own unique fashion with the emotion Joy trying to keep everything together. Certain events in the film cause the emotions Joy and Sadness to get separated from the rest of the crew and the rest are left to manage the best they can. Continue reading

The Glass Prison (Take These Chains…)

For however long it takes you to read this blog I’m going to be more honest with you than I have in a while. No we’re not taking into question what I’ve written in my blogs, it’s the Flemmings Beaubrun that I’ve presented to you in the last three months. I’ve shown you all a Flemmings that seemed to have it all together, a Flemmings that was happy and seemed like nothing phased him at all. The problem is that for the last three months I’ve been wearing a mask but as time has passed that mask has been getting harder and harder to wear. Lying to people about my emotions has gotten pretty tiring actually. I’ve gotten so fatigued about lying the last three months that I wonder how Commissioner Goodell of the NFL has been able to play that game for seven. I’ve had it with lying so I’m going to explain to you the whirlwind emotions I’ve had to juggle for an entire summer. Shit, even clowns would be jealous with all the complicated shit I’ve had to juggle. Now in my last blog post I briefly mentioned the unfortunate end of what I though would be a very promising relationship. Was hasn’t been brief however is the emotional and psychological toll this break up has had on me for the last three months. Now while I’ve developed enough coping methods and grown enough to avoid flirting with the suicidal thoughts I had to battle through the last time I was this depressed, it still has been one of the toughest summers in recent memory. Continue reading

Sucker Punch (The Zigger Zagger to End All Zigger Zaggers)

Have you seen the movie Sucker Punch? No? Well what the hell are you waiting for? You’re missing out on one of the most mind blowing movies of 2011. Unfortunately this blog post isn’t about the really awesome psychological thriller that involves a bunch of steampunk, giant robots, and really hot girls with swords and enough artillery to arm a country for a life time. This blog post has to do with the blow life deals to you when you least expect it. That blow to the face and even the crotch when when you least expect it, the blow that hits you so hard you’ll spend a long time figuring out where it came from when the answer is standing dead in your face like a reflection in the mirror or a zit on your face. Continue reading

Robin Williams: What His Passing Teaches Us About Depression

I lost a part of my childhood yesterday. Those who grew up in the 90s remember Robin Williams from classic films like Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, Flubber, Jumanji, and many others. His humor will forever remain in my memory as a staple of my childhood and one of the many things that got me through dark time. Behind the laughs however was a man who battled with depression. I just want to take this time to say that depression is no joke. As mentioned in previous blog posts (see Forever Loved -For Those Who Need It The Most-¬†and That Place Where Every One is Just As Broken As You), I have battled through depression at some of the lowest points in my life and even came pretty close to ending my life. Even after years of touching upon this subject I still feel pretty uneasy doing so because there’s such a nasty stigma associated with depression and other mental illnesses. Continue reading

But If I’m So Smart, Why Does Everyone Hate Me (Picking Up the Pieces of Your Bullied Child’s Psyche)

TRIGGER WARNING AND PARENTHOOD SPOILER ALERT

So those who watched last night’s episode of Parenthood were greeted to probably one of the most hear breaking talks you will ever have with a child who is different from the rest. To those who watch the show and haven’t watched last night’s episode I suggest you stop reading this and go watch it on “On Demand” or “Hulu” or “nbc.com” or whatever means you have of catching up on episodes. Go on, I’ll be waiting right here. Well what are you waiting for? Go! I’m just gonna stand here as awkwardly as Dora the Explorer does when she waits for you to answer her questions aimed at her “audience”.

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That Place Where Everyone Is Just As Broken As You

WARNING: SOME STRONG LANGUAGE! READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Ugh, it’s that time again, that time that comes every one to three months where I have to take the walk of shame but to where you ask? It’s sometimes the last place you’d like to be, especially when it because the reason you’re there in the first place involves a rather sensitive issue that I’ve covered in a few blogs. As you take that walk you try to recount where you’ve been emotionally the last few months and if you happen to encounter any “triggers” in your travels through the minefield known as life. It is in those moments this you remember that once again it’s time to see your psychiatrist.
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Forever Loved ~For Those Who Need It the Most~

In honor of National Suicide Prevention Day I will be writing a blog post that needs to be written. Now in my earlier posts I have touched upon my issues with depression and my battles with suicidal thoughts. Tonight’s blog post however won’t be all about me, It’ll be all about you and those who need it the most. Now in those moments when I contemplated ending my life it was usually after feeling a sense of hopelessness but there was another component to this twisted puzzle that I never truly delved into until I really started examining myself.

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A Letter to My Younger Self #1

Hello world, welcome to another exciting entry from the epicness that is my blog. Today I will attempt something that another fellow blogger recommended to me over lunch. By the way before I continue you can find her blog in the link below.

Perfectly Imperfecta

Now I had a tricky time trying to figure out which me I would write myself a letter to. I’ve been through many tricky situations in my life and there were several phases of my life where a letter from my future self was needed but there was one particular moment in my life where I think I needed it the most. As a referenced in an earlier blog post, the summer of 2010 was probably one of the darkest times of my life and the first time in my life I ever contemplated suicide. I shall start this series off by writing to my 22 year old self.

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It is Purpose that Created Us, Purpose that Drives Us

We’re all put here by what ever force you want to believe in to do something. If anyone told you that you’re one in billions, that your life against the life of others doesn’t hold some sort of merit then someone lied. For some of us we know from day one what our purpose¬†in this world is but for the rest of us, it can take some serious soul searching and years before we realize what we’re meant to do and some unfortunately leave this moral coil before even realizing what their purpose is.

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