Let’s Get Dangerous (Between A Rock and The Broad Spectrum)

Posted on December 31, 2016 by flem0328

They always say you should end the year on a high note, I highly doubt this post will constitute as such so work with me alright? This year has been a pretty interesting one given the events of 2015 some good and, some just absolute shit. I had high hopes for 2016 and for the most part it delivered but, there just one thing that has lingered since the middle of last year. If you’ve been avidly reading my blogs then you’re probably going “Not this shit again!”. Yup, it’s definitely this shit again but, we’re going to go down an entirely different rabbit hole and discuss an aspect of dating I’m surprised I never went in full detail about (Definitely not sex! There’s already a blog post for that). It will also chronicle my dating experiences in the last several years and bring us to a sort of dilemma I’ve been having this last week. For those who are new to my blog, the story plays out like this; I’m a single, hopeless romantic that has struggled to find a lasting romantic relationship (Yeah a love sick Autistic guy, how shocking!). Two years ago I was certain I had found my forever woman but, she broke up with me eight months later. Even before that one, I met another woman several years ago I also thought was my forever woman; That relationship also went up in flames. In between the last relationship and now, I’ve gone on three dates, none of them successful. Now the one thing that I don’t often mention about my travels is, there’s a huge difference between the two relationships I was in and, the three women I went on dates on and, a fourth formerly eligible bachelorette that met with an end that has put a sour taste in my mouth. Cough syrup has nothing on how bachelorette number 4 values the time of others. The first two women I was in a relationship with were on the spectrum, the other three weren’t. Continue reading →

Daydream (I Fell Asleep Beneath The Flowers)

Posted on December 27, 2016 by flem0328

I had dreams of fucking an R&B bitch!

Okay good I got your attention. Welcome back to one of few reliable sources for all things Autism and, life in general. Today we’re gonna broach a subject that I don’t talk about much. Show of hands, how many of you like to daydream? Everyone? I thought so. Those who know me well know that I am a chronic daydreamer and no, none of those day dreams consist of fucking R&B bitches; Biggie dreams of fucking R&B bitches. My daydreams always depended on my mood and, what was going on in my life. Growing up, I daydreamed as much as I breathed. In school I wasn’t challenged as much as I should, especially in math. Math was super easy for me so, It was very hard to keep my attention. When something didn’t interest me, I’d often retreat into my head and start to dwell on what preoccupied my mind. Most of the time it was what ever video game I was playing at the time. I would constantly think about a solution to a dungeon I was stuck in or, plan on how I was going to beat a tough boss. Other times, I would be thinking about ideas I had for video games I wanted to create. I would conceptualize characters, worlds and, music. It was always a great escape, nothing could stop me, not even the,

“Flemmings!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU DAY DREAMING AGAIN?” my fourth grade teacher would yell. Continue reading →

Soundtrack 2 My Life

Posted on December 10, 2016 by flem0328

Music has always been a huge part of my life. From a young age I noticed music on the radio quickly and would constantly hum it. When I was 11 I started walking around with a walkman everywhere I went. When I was 14, I got my first portable CD player. When I turned 16, I got my first MP3 player and, it was at that point that the floodgates of my musical love busted wide open. I remember that MP3 player vividly, it was a Dell Digital Jukebox 15. It was a 15 GB MP3 player which by today’s standards is pretty small but, in 2004 it was a huge deal. Being able to carry a growing library of CDs around with me totally blew my mind. Unfortunately it broke a year later and it was the most depressing thing ever. I just remember being in a shitty mood for a very long time because I had no means of carrying my collection with me. The CD player was simply a small band aid on an open gash. I wouldn’t get another MP3 player again until the following year but, it paled in comparison to my beloved Dell Jukebox. I wouldn’t get another high capacity MP3 player until 2008 when I used the money I saved during a summer job to get an 80 GB iPod Classic. My music collection increased exponentially between then and the end of my senior year of college. Eventually my music collection would out grow that iPod and, I would have to buy an 160 GB iPod Classic. I’ve sadly out grown that iPod too and often have to rotate out music based on what I’m listening to. You’re probably wondering how one fills an 160 GB iPod Classic; Well, I listen to pretty much everything except for country and, I have full cataloges for all the artists I have on there. I also have a ton of video game soundtracks and, music from a lot of international artists. Those who see me on a regular basis will know I never leave my house without my headphones. I wear my headphones everywhere I go, even in places it’s not socially acceptable to like in church. Now you’re probably wondering what music has to do with tonight’s blog. Over the years, there have been a few songs that have spoken to me in a way that not many have. They’re also songs tied to very critical points in my life or, have helped me to convey pretty complex emotions. In no particular order, here are the songs/albums. Continue reading →

The Color of Pain

Posted on November 28, 2016 by flem0328

Hello world! I’m alive and well and have not been kidnapped by Serbian mobsters if you’ve been wondering why you haven’t seen a blog from yours truly. There’s been a lot of crazy shit in the news in my absence, something about an election and some guy that everyone hates ruling the iron throne. Apparently he killed some woman name Hillary in one of the most shocking plot twists ever in a TV show. Hillary was winning every single battle and just when she has the upper hand, this guy name Trump just storms the back door and practically cuts her throat. That’s a hell of a TV show! Wait, you mean that happened in real life? Damn fam! That’s not what this blog is about though, we here at the Epic Autistic stay the fuck out of politics and will not be talking about this further. It will however continue to be a constant source of jokes, metaphors, puns, analogies and, all the wonderful literary devices that your English teacher rammed down your throat like your name was Linda Lovelace (Yes that is a porn reference, we’re all adults here). Now that I’m done with that little tirade, it’s time to talk about the other things in the news. You know, the stuff that actually has to do with this blog. Recently, Kanye West was admitted to the hospital for a slew of psychiatric problems. Love or hate Kanye, mental heath is something we ALL should be talking about. A month ago, Kid Cudi also checked himself into rehab for depression and suicidal thoughts. These guys have plenty in common, they celebrities, the famous artists, they’re rich as fuck and, they’re black. Continue reading →

Paper Trail

Posted on October 12, 2016 by flem0328

Hello world! It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. Life has been pretty hectic but, those events are for another blog. Today I will be touching on something I realize I’ve never really talked about on here much to my surprise. Tonight were gonna talk about the dreaded three letter acronym, an acronym that strikes fear in parents of children with special needs yearly or however many times a year you have to deal with it. Parents who read this blog already know what rabbit hole we’re gonna jump in today or, you’re probably impatient and jumped to the second paragraph of this blog post. Gosh people, y’all gotta rush through shit and not take time to appreciate it. You’re the type of people who skimmed through books in English class and didn’t take time to take in the symbolism. Then again, I also skimmed through books and didn’t take the time to take in the symbolism which I’m pretty sure our English teachers made up because let’s be real, I don’t think that bowl full of fruit or those blue curtains were ever meant to serve any other purpose except to exist in the scenery. You have to wonder if English teachers did that shit intentionally to justify making homework assignments, quizzes and, essays for a book in the first place. Anyways, before I get carried away let’s just get on with it shall we? You have to wonder if these first paragraphs are as unwarranted as the small talk nurses make when they’re about to stick you with some needle or other sharp medical instrument. Like, we already know you’re gonna inflict some form of pain on me for the longest 2-3 seconds of my life so can we just get on with this shit already. Without further adieu, let’s just get on with this shit shall we? Continue reading →

Cutthroat (The Epic Autistic’s Guide to Cordcutting)

Posted on September 1, 2016 by flem0328

It’s September 1st and you know what that means, MOVING TIME. As many local area Boston residents (or residents everywhere) are starting to move this weekend, the cable companies will be out in full force advertising juicy deals on bundles that you just can’t refuse. From buses to billboards and subway cars, the cable companies are casting all the lures to make sure they reel in a catch. Today your resident tech guru is here to make sure the cable companies don’t bend you over and have their way with you. Now the example I’ll be using will come from RCN’s website (my current internet provider). On the website for Boston residents, there is a cable tv/155 Mbps internet bundle for $49 that includes HBO access. Continue reading →

The Devil’s Advocate (Me Before The World)

Posted on August 20, 2016 by flem0328

(WARNING, THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM THE MOVIE “ME BEFORE YOU”. IF YOU’D LIKE TO WATCH THE MOVIE BEFORE READING THIS POST THEN DON’T READ ANY FURTHER, IF YOU’VE WATCHED THE MOVIE YOU COULDN’T CARE LESS THEN READ ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Continue reading →

I Got Broads In Atlanta (Southern Hospitality)

Posted on August 18, 2016 by flem0328

It’s 6 am and we’ve missed our flight to Boston. This WiFi is like that late night hook up you’ve brought home, they’re terrible at what they do but you haven’t gotten any in a while so you’ve gotta take what you can get. Can we just talk about how much I despise TSA? We pour a chunk of our budget into this hot mess yet the process is never as smooth as silk, I prefer the term “flint against sand paper with every accelerant you could think of” but we’ll get to that. I had the opportunity to spend a week and half in Atlanta where the players play and we ride on them thangs like every day, a place where parties apparently don’t stop til’ 8 in the morning. I can tell you that there were no such parties where I stayed but, I’m sure they exist in some capacity in the heart of the city. Travelling can be a roller coaster of events where there’s never a dull moment. The south is such an interesting place and to a New Englander like me, it’s like stepping into Narnia. I don’t know if this is what Aladdin meant by showing us a whole new world but, it comes pretty damn close. The south is home to some interesting customs, some questionable choice of flags, some of the best damn food I’ve eaten, some of the lowest property values I’ve seen in years and, crazy humidity. In list form, I shall elaborate on my experiences in the South. Continue reading →

Third Time’s The Charm

Posted on August 4, 2016 by flem0328

You mean I’ve been writing this blog for three years? Get out of here! Well happy third birthday to the awesomeness that is my blog. From blogs about heartbreak to blogs about heartbreak and well, more heartbreak. Wait a fucking minute, you’re telling me a chunk of the blogs I wrote last year actually centered around heartbreak and dating? Damn, was I really that much of a train wreck last year? Trainwreck doesn’t even describe it, I’d have to go with “Thomas The Tank Engine” snorted a bunch of coke, went into hyper drive, crashed up Godzilla’s ass and through his mouth, fell into a mine field and got blown up harder than losing a game of minesweeper. It’s been a hell of a year and well there have been some epic moments, there have been ones that I’m better without. Continue reading →

Finding Independence (Success Begins With Two Words, I’ll Try…)

Posted on July 13, 2016 by flem0328

So two weeks ago I had the chance to watch Finding Dory and, once again Pixar has delivered another masterpiece and most importantly, something blog worthy. So without spoiling anything, Finding Dory center’s around Nemo’s friend Dory who is very scatter brained and is notorious for short term memory issues. The movie takes a look back at her childhood and how she got separated from her family in the first place. A series of events causes Dory to remember her family thus begins yet another journey that makes for an epic Pixar film. Their adventure brings them to an aquarium that specializes in rehabilitating injured aquatic animals. Now, where the film truly succeeds is how it tackles living with a disability. A lot of this movie’s important characters including Dory all have some sort of disability that has an adverse affect on how they live their lives. From a visually impaired whale shark named Destiny to a Dolphin named Bailey who is unable to use his echo location abilities, a cognitively impaired loon named Becky and of course Dory, this film stresses not only how people live and function in this world with disabilities but, it also explores the topic of ableism which can be a huge problem for those of us with disabilities. Continue reading →