DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ANY EMOTIONAL VALIDATION WITH THIS BLOG POST. I’M SIMPLY CONVEYING A STRUGGLE I’VE DEALT WITH FOR YEARS IN HOPES IT WILL HELP OTHERS! Continue reading
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Tag Archives: brain
The Monster (A Tale From The Glass Prison….)
Monsters are peculiar creatures that take a myriad of different forms depending on the context. Some take the form of terrible hairy beasts, some take the form of really terrible people out to do others harm, and then there are those that take the form of our own thoughts; that voice in your head that decides to break you when you’ve begun to hit a stride. We spend so much time worrying about the first and second monsters that we seem to be completely blindsided by the third. I’ve yet to meet the first kind of monster, I have however met the other two monsters. I grew surrounded by the second type of Monster. These people came in the form of my school bullies, and sadly my own father. The third one wouldn’t manifest itself until I became and adult. The third kind of monster is a sinister being that we don’t even realize we’re dealing with until we wonder why our thought processes are so fucked. We’ve met this monster the day we realize we can’t take compliments. We’ve also met this monster the day you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see. We’ve also met this monster the day things are going really well and you’re all of a sudden bombarded by thoughts of all the things that could possibly go wrong. It’s not a physical monster, it’s one that lives inside of your head. It’s a product of your experiences both good and bad. Now I should note that this phenomenon is very different from schizophrenia; that’s not what we’re gonna talk about here. We’re gonna talk about that train of thought, and what happens when your anxieties and doubts become an accelerant for a fire that becomes notoriously difficult to put put once it gets started. Continue reading
The Executive Branch (The Executive Of All My Mental Functions)
No, I’m afraid this blog post isn’t about President “Not Everybody’s President” Donald “Mine is Bigger” Trump. I don’t care to waste a blog post ranting about this guy at the moment, so instead we’re going to talk about something else that is probably more relevant to my life as well as the lives of others on the spectrum. Executive functions are a subject we as humans don’t broach, because often times a neurotypical never has to worry about this; They work without you having to do much about it. The executive functions are a set of processes that all have to do with managing oneself and one’s resources in order to achieve a goal. It is an umbrella term for the neurologically-based skills involving mental control and self-regulation. To break it down, executive functions fall into several key categories, Continue reading
Got My Mind On My Money (And My Money On My Mind….)
Welcome back to the world of the living Mr. Epic Autistic. It seems like forever since you graced the world with another epic blog. How about coming out of the cave of yours to drop another classic. You’re like Eminem when it comes to blogs these days; you drop instant fire, hide and, come back once more to grace the world with some of that Olympian fire. Please grace us with that Olympian fire just one last time Mr. Autistic! PLEASE?! Continue reading
The Glass Prison Redux (Breaker of Chains…)
Hello strange world! Welcome back to one of the greatest pieces of literary art you will ever read on the internet. As I look back through the year, I realize that I’m not the same person I was about eight months ago. To say that this has been a long eight months is a pure fucking understatement. I don’t even know how to describe what has felt like an eternity yet, time continues to fly by like it’s nothing. It’s a complete mind fuck to feel like you’re trapped in the same day only to blink and have weeks go by just to feel trapped in another. Time is a form of art that is just pure fuckery of all the senses in the best and worse way possible. God is an interesting being that could easily give you the short cut through the treacherous mountain but, finds it way more interesting to take you down the scenic route. He could take the main road during a snow storm but, he’ll take the untreated back roads at full speed without all season tires and still get you to your destination in one piece. Yeah, my year has been a hell of a train ride that has tested me in ways that would make 2010-2012 jealous. Now I should note that I didn’t tackle with the suicidal idealization that has caused me problems in the past; I dealt with a brand new problem that hit me harder than it has in years, anxiety. Now I wouldn’t call this full blown clinical anxiety that has me hyperventilating in a corner or, on meds; I would call it several months of being perpetually anxious over a series of events happening in my life all at once. To get a better idea of this, we need to start back at the beginning. Continue reading
Small Talk, Big Problems #2 (Let’s Skip The Small Talk)
Hello world! I’m aware my blogs haven’t been as frequent as they used to be but, that’s what happens when you focus your energy into a book. It’s been an interesting few months that has consisted of wonderful adventures with and amazing girlfriend and, some really crappy situations as referenced by my last blog that I may not delve into for a very long time.Two years ago I wrote a blog post called “Small Talk, Big Problems” that really dived into some of the struggles I have with making small talk with people. I’ve always hated small talk because it seems so pointless and mundane. Small talk also requires one to put up this facade that can get tiring really fast. Small talk is an art that one must master if they want to survive in the worlds of networking and, dating. Some never make it past the meaningless small talk thus preventing the fostering of deeper connections. What if there were an event where you skip the small talk all together and, jump straight to the really important things on your mind; the things pent up inside you really want to vent about but, you can’t because you’ll have a total fucking stranger running for the hills with their tail between their legs? What if there was an event that would allow you to ask all the questions you ever wanted to ask someone but, you couldn’t because you thought that asking those questions in a regular conversation would be really over stepping your bounds? It appears that God answered those prayers in the best way possible. Continue reading
Dear Daddy, I Write You In Spite of Months of Silence
It’s been a long ass time now hasn’t it? Between writing a book, some family drama, a new relationship; life has been an absolute mess in both the best and, worse way possible. My mind has been so much of a mess that the Trump administration would be jealous. As a matter of fact, the Trump Administration wants to trade messes with me right now. The last six months of my life have been both really awesome and, really shitty at the same time but; that’s the sort of thing you’ve gotta deal with when you’re me. Six months ago I met this really awesome woman on Catholic Match who I am now ecstatic to call my girlfriend. Six months ago was also the beginning of drama that would result in me being estranged from my father. You’re probably wondering what the fuck daddy issues have to do with Autism. Quite a bit so buckle up your seat belts bitches; we’re gonna snort 20 lines of coke, take 3 acid tabs, a couple of shrooms and, jump into the really fucked up rabbit hole that is my brain. Continue reading
4th and 1 (Keeping it 100)
Happy 4 year anniversary to The Epic Motherfucking Autistic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m pretty fucking baffled that I’ve been running this blog for four years! It feels like yesterday since I first started this up as a way to reach people who wanted to jump into the rabbit hole of Autism. My mother had been nagging me to write a book for years but, the idea of a book seemed so daunting at the time so I started with a blog. This blog has been great because it allowed me to get bits of my story out there in bite sized chunks while also giving me the chance to evolve as a writer. Blogging has been a pretty eye opening experience that has connected me with people all over the world. I had started this blog with good intentions but, I part of me at the time didn’t think I could keep this blog going for as long as I have. I always thought it would be one of those things that would start strong but, would eventually fizzle out with time. I’m thankful for being able to keep this blog fresh with content over the years; it’s been a hell of a ride. I should also note that this is my 100th blog post, another major milestone in itself. I didn’t think I had it in me to be able to pump out 100 blog posts. Continue reading
Wap Kon Jorge
Those who read the blog I posted will know that I’ve been in sort of a blogging hiatus for the past few months. In earlier blogs, I have referenced a book that my mother has been nagging me to write for years. A few months ago I finally committed to writing that book and that has consumed a lot of the time I’d usually devote to writing blogs. I present to you guys another and probably the last sample from the book for a while. I will be devoting quite a bit of time to writing but don’t you worry, there will still be a fourth anniversary blog post in the beginning of next month. I will hopefully try to add more content to this blog that isn’t book related; I’m sure you’re all dying to know my thoughts on watching people in wheelchairs getting carried out of the Senator’s office during a sit in. There’s much to write about and so little time to do it these days. Without further adieu, I present to you the next sample of what I hope will be a masterpiece of epic proportions. Continue reading
Genesis
You’re probably wondering where I’ve been for the last two and a half months? It feels weird logging in to here to write another blog entry after so long. I’ve come up with many excuses when I go long periods of time without writing but, I promise you’ll love this excuse; it’s excuse that some people in my life have been waiting years to hear from me. In many blogs as of late, I’ve half joked about my mother feeling compelled to push/encourage me to write a book about my life. I’ve kicked and screamed for years about it but, in May I finally got the push I’ve needed to really churn away to put together something to remember. Writing this book has been a really interesting experience that has allowed me to learn about myself while making sense of a life that has been filled with confusion, heartbreak, disappointment and, joy. I present to you guys a sample chapter from my book. It’s a re-imagining of “Genesis” from the bible in my awesome writing style. It may seem out of place in a story about Autism but, it will make sense towards the end of the sample and, within the context of the whole story. Without further adieu, enjoy! Continue reading
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