Daydream (I Fell Asleep Beneath The Flowers)

I had dreams of fucking an R&B bitch!

Okay good I got your attention. Welcome back to one of few reliable sources for all things Autism and, life in general. Today we’re gonna broach a subject that I don’t talk about much. Show of hands, how many of you like to daydream? Everyone? I thought so. Those who know me well know that I am a chronic daydreamer and no, none of those day dreams consist of fucking R&B bitches; Biggie dreams of fucking R&B bitches. My daydreams always depended on my mood and, what was going on in my life. Growing up, I daydreamed as much as I breathed. In school I wasn’t challenged as much as I should, especially in math. Math was super easy for me so, It was very hard to keep my attention. When something didn’t interest me, I’d often retreat into my head and start to dwell on what preoccupied my mind. Most of the time it was what ever video game I was playing at the time. I would constantly think about a solution to a dungeon I was stuck in or, plan on how I was going to beat a tough boss. Other times, I would be thinking about ideas I had for video games I wanted to create. I would conceptualize characters, worlds and, music. It was always a great escape, nothing could stop me, not even the,

“Flemmings!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU DAY DREAMING AGAIN?” my fourth grade teacher would yell. Continue reading

Soundtrack 2 My Life

Music has always been a huge part of my life. From a young age I noticed music on the radio quickly and would constantly hum it. When I was 11 I started walking around with a walkman everywhere I went. When I was 14, I got my first portable CD player. When I turned 16, I got my first MP3 player and, it was at that point that the floodgates of my musical love busted wide open. I remember that MP3 player vividly, it was a Dell Digital Jukebox 15. It was a 15 GB MP3 player which by today’s standards is pretty small but, in 2004 it was a huge deal. Being able to carry a growing library of CDs around with me totally blew my mind. Unfortunately it broke a year later and it was the most depressing thing ever. I just remember being in a shitty mood for a very long time because I had no means of carrying my collection with me. The CD player was simply a small band aid on an open gash. I wouldn’t get another MP3 player again until the following year but, it paled in comparison to my beloved Dell Jukebox. I wouldn’t get another high capacity MP3 player until 2008 when I used the money I saved during a summer job to get an 80 GB iPod Classic. My music collection increased exponentially between then and the end of my senior year of college. Eventually my music collection would out grow that iPod and, I would have to buy an 160 GB iPod Classic. I’ve sadly out grown that iPod too and often have to rotate out music based on what I’m listening to. You’re probably wondering how one fills an 160 GB iPod Classic; Well, I listen to pretty much everything except for country and, I have full cataloges for all the artists I have on there. I also have a ton of video game soundtracks and, music from a lot of international artists. Those who see me on a regular basis will know I never leave my house without my headphones. I wear my headphones everywhere I go, even in places it’s not socially acceptable to like in church. Now you’re probably wondering what music has to do with tonight’s blog. Over the years, there have been a few songs that have spoken to me in a way that not many have. They’re also songs tied to very critical points in my life or, have helped me to convey pretty complex emotions. In no particular order, here are the songs/albums. Continue reading

The Color of Pain

Hello world! I’m alive and well and have not been kidnapped by Serbian mobsters if you’ve been wondering why you haven’t seen a blog from yours truly. There’s been a lot of crazy shit in the news in my absence, something about an election and some guy that everyone hates ruling the iron throne. Apparently he killed some woman name Hillary in one of the most shocking plot twists ever in a TV show. Hillary was winning every single battle and just when she has the upper hand, this guy name Trump just storms the back door and practically cuts her throat. That’s a hell of a TV show! Wait, you mean that happened in real life? Damn fam! That’s not what this blog is about though, we here at the Epic Autistic stay the fuck out of politics and will not be talking about this further. It will however continue to be a constant source of jokes, metaphors, puns, analogies and, all the wonderful literary devices that your English teacher rammed down your throat like your name was Linda Lovelace (Yes that is a porn reference, we’re all adults here). Now that I’m done with that little tirade, it’s time to talk about the other things in the news. You know, the stuff that actually has to do with this blog. Recently, Kanye West was admitted to the hospital for a slew of psychiatric problems. Love or hate Kanye, mental heath is something we ALL should be talking about. A month ago, Kid Cudi also checked himself into rehab for depression and suicidal thoughts. These guys have plenty in common, they celebrities, the famous artists, they’re rich as fuck and, they’re black. Continue reading

Paper Trail

Hello world! It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. Life has been pretty hectic but, those events are for another blog. Today I will be touching on something I realize I’ve never really talked about on here much to my surprise. Tonight were gonna talk about the dreaded three letter acronym, an acronym that strikes fear in parents of children with special needs yearly or however many times a year you have to deal with it. Parents who read this blog already know what rabbit hole we’re gonna jump in today or, you’re probably impatient and jumped to the second paragraph of this blog post. Gosh people, y’all gotta rush through shit and not take time to appreciate it. You’re the type of people who skimmed through books in English class and didn’t take time to take in the symbolism. Then again, I also skimmed through books and didn’t take the time to take in the symbolism which I’m pretty sure our English teachers made up because let’s be real, I don’t think that bowl full of fruit or those blue curtains were ever meant to serve any other purpose except to exist in the scenery. You have to wonder if English teachers did that shit intentionally to justify making homework assignments, quizzes and, essays for a book in the first place. Anyways, before I get carried away let’s just get on with it shall we? You have to wonder if these first paragraphs are as unwarranted as the small talk nurses make when they’re about to stick you with some needle or other sharp medical instrument. Like, we already know you’re gonna inflict some form of pain on me for the longest 2-3 seconds of my life so can we just get on with this shit already. Without further adieu, let’s just get on with this shit shall we? Continue reading

Cutthroat (The Epic Autistic’s Guide to Cordcutting)

It’s September 1st and you know what that means, MOVING TIME. As many local area Boston residents (or residents everywhere) are starting to move this weekend, the cable companies will be out in full force advertising juicy deals on bundles that you just can’t refuse. From buses to billboards and subway cars, the cable companies are casting all the lures to make sure they reel in a catch. Today your resident┬átech guru is here to make sure the cable companies don’t bend you over and have their way with you. Now the example I’ll be using will come from RCN’s website (my current internet provider). On the website for Boston residents, there is a cable tv/155 Mbps internet bundle for $49 that includes HBO access.RCN #1 Continue reading

The Devil’s Advocate (Me Before The World)

(WARNING, THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM THE MOVIE “ME BEFORE YOU”. IF YOU’D LIKE TO WATCH THE MOVIE BEFORE READING THIS POST THEN DON’T READ ANY FURTHER, IF YOU’VE WATCHED THE MOVIE YOU COULDN’T CARE LESS THEN READ ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Continue reading

I Got Broads In Atlanta (Southern Hospitality)

It’s 6 am and we’ve missed our flight to Boston. This WiFi is like that late night hook up you’ve brought home, they’re terrible at what they do but you haven’t gotten any in a while so you’ve gotta take what you can get. Can we just talk about how much I despise TSA? We pour a chunk of our budget into this hot mess yet the process is never as smooth as silk, I prefer the term “flint against sand paper with every accelerant you could think of” but we’ll get to that. I had the opportunity to spend a week and half in Atlanta where the players play and we ride on them thangs like every day, a place where parties apparently don’t stop til’ 8 in the morning. I can tell you that there were no such parties where I stayed but, I’m sure they exist in some capacity in the heart of the city. Travelling can be a roller coaster of events where there’s never a dull moment. The south is such an interesting place and to a New Englander like me, it’s like stepping into Narnia. I don’t know if this is what Aladdin meant by showing us a whole new world but, it comes pretty damn close. The south is home to some interesting customs, some questionable choice of flags, some of the best damn food I’ve eaten, some of the lowest property values I’ve seen in years and, crazy humidity. In list form, I shall elaborate on my experiences in the South. Continue reading