A few years ago around this time, I took my first ever trip to Atlanta, Georgia. It was a blast, and a great way to immerse myself in southern culture. I loved the city so much that I vowed to return one day for round two. God is good because I got that chance in the form of an invite to a baby shower. Needless to say, it was an epic adventure that can only be told in Epic Autistic Fashion. For the post that preceeds this one, read “The Mile High Club (No, It Ain’t About Sex On A Plane)”. For the original, read “I Got Broads In Atlanta (Southern Hospitality)”. Continue reading
The Mile High Club (No, It Ain’t About Sex On A Plane)
Y’all are getting two blogs today! (Read “A 5th of Autistic” if you haven’t already) I’m about 30,000 ft in the air for the second time this year with a third coming in October. This is probably the most I’ve ever flown in ever. The first time I flew this year was to go out to Portland Oregon with my girlfriend. I am flying solo today for a trip to Atlanta. I’ll be flying again with my girlfriend for a trip to San Diego. I’m not gonna lie, traveling alone for the first time has me feeling anxious. In all the years of my existence, I’m used to having someone else manage my itinerary. Someone has already figured out when we’re taking off, when we’re landing, our transportation accommodations for when we land, and everything in reverse. A part of me was dreading this trip a bit. It wasn’t the end goal of this trip I dreaded (a reunion with college friends), that’s the last thing I’d dread. I dreaded the planning that would have to go into this. My executive functioning difficulties make planning/coordinating things like this a bit overwhelming at times. Thankfully I had a friend find a really great deal on this flight. I was planning on driving down there which would’ve taken forever. Continue reading
A 5th of Autistic
I usually write these anniversary posts on the actual anniversary of the first post on this page.(August 4th, 2013). I missed that for whatever reason.I can quite remember what I was doing on that day, but it is what it is. You know what they say, better late than never, right? I still find it difficult at times to believe that I have been maintaining this blog for five years. This blog admittedly was a cop out from writing a book my mother had been nagging me to write for years. I convinced myself that if I kept up with this blog, then I wouldn’t have to write a book. The funny thing about this life is, God has a way of really pushing us toward his will through others. People would be so impressed with the quality of writing on this blog that they would throw the book idea around. Everywhere I went, people would suggest that I write a book. My mother would also continue to nag me, time and time again. It wasn’t until last year that I would finally cave, and start going to town. I’m almost 200 pages in, so you can expect quite the epic. Continue reading
Happy Face (The Sunshine is Shinning)
Hello Strange World,
Welcome back to another exciting edition of- You know what? Fuck it. I can’t think of much an analogy at the moment. As a matter of fact, I can’t really think of much at the moment. My creativity, and inspiration are somewhat lacking at the moment. As you can tell by the last year of blogs, my life has been quite the shit show. There’s a lot of fucking good, but it has been quite the shit show. I really don’t have many words to describe the last year beyond what I have explained in several posts where I unload my daddy issues on the rest of the world. As a matter of fact, several of my blogs have referenced the same daddy issues. Honestly, I’m sick and tired of ranting about the same fucking thing over, and over again. Yet here I am, talking about dad issues again. Though this blog post won’t be simply about daddy issues, but rather my mood in general. Continue reading
Beautiful
DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ANY EMOTIONAL VALIDATION WITH THIS BLOG POST. I’M SIMPLY CONVEYING A STRUGGLE I’VE DEALT WITH FOR YEARS IN HOPES IT WILL HELP OTHERS! Continue reading
The Monster (A Tale From The Glass Prison….)
Monsters are peculiar creatures that take a myriad of different forms depending on the context. Some take the form of terrible hairy beasts, some take the form of really terrible people out to do others harm, and then there are those that take the form of our own thoughts; that voice in your head that decides to break you when you’ve begun to hit a stride. We spend so much time worrying about the first and second monsters that we seem to be completely blindsided by the third. I’ve yet to meet the first kind of monster, I have however met the other two monsters. I grew surrounded by the second type of Monster. These people came in the form of my school bullies, and sadly my own father. The third one wouldn’t manifest itself until I became and adult. The third kind of monster is a sinister being that we don’t even realize we’re dealing with until we wonder why our thought processes are so fucked. We’ve met this monster the day we realize we can’t take compliments. We’ve also met this monster the day you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see. We’ve also met this monster the day things are going really well and you’re all of a sudden bombarded by thoughts of all the things that could possibly go wrong. It’s not a physical monster, it’s one that lives inside of your head. It’s a product of your experiences both good and bad. Now I should note that this phenomenon is very different from schizophrenia; that’s not what we’re gonna talk about here. We’re gonna talk about that train of thought, and what happens when your anxieties and doubts become an accelerant for a fire that becomes notoriously difficult to put put once it gets started. Continue reading
The Executive Branch (The Executive Of All My Mental Functions)
No, I’m afraid this blog post isn’t about President “Not Everybody’s President” Donald “Mine is Bigger” Trump. I don’t care to waste a blog post ranting about this guy at the moment, so instead we’re going to talk about something else that is probably more relevant to my life as well as the lives of others on the spectrum. Executive functions are a subject we as humans don’t broach, because often times a neurotypical never has to worry about this; They work without you having to do much about it. The executive functions are a set of processes that all have to do with managing oneself and one’s resources in order to achieve a goal. It is an umbrella term for the neurologically-based skills involving mental control and self-regulation. To break it down, executive functions fall into several key categories, Continue reading
Got My Mind On My Money (And My Money On My Mind….)
Welcome back to the world of the living Mr. Epic Autistic. It seems like forever since you graced the world with another epic blog. How about coming out of the cave of yours to drop another classic. You’re like Eminem when it comes to blogs these days; you drop instant fire, hide and, come back once more to grace the world with some of that Olympian fire. Please grace us with that Olympian fire just one last time Mr. Autistic! PLEASE?! Continue reading
The Glass Prison Redux (Breaker of Chains…)
Hello strange world! Welcome back to one of the greatest pieces of literary art you will ever read on the internet. As I look back through the year, I realize that I’m not the same person I was about eight months ago. To say that this has been a long eight months is a pure fucking understatement. I don’t even know how to describe what has felt like an eternity yet, time continues to fly by like it’s nothing. It’s a complete mind fuck to feel like you’re trapped in the same day only to blink and have weeks go by just to feel trapped in another. Time is a form of art that is just pure fuckery of all the senses in the best and worse way possible. God is an interesting being that could easily give you the short cut through the treacherous mountain but, finds it way more interesting to take you down the scenic route. He could take the main road during a snow storm but, he’ll take the untreated back roads at full speed without all season tires and still get you to your destination in one piece. Yeah, my year has been a hell of a train ride that has tested me in ways that would make 2010-2012 jealous. Now I should note that I didn’t tackle with the suicidal idealization that has caused me problems in the past; I dealt with a brand new problem that hit me harder than it has in years, anxiety. Now I wouldn’t call this full blown clinical anxiety that has me hyperventilating in a corner or, on meds; I would call it several months of being perpetually anxious over a series of events happening in my life all at once. To get a better idea of this, we need to start back at the beginning. Continue reading
Small Talk, Big Problems #2 (Let’s Skip The Small Talk)
Hello world! I’m aware my blogs haven’t been as frequent as they used to be but, that’s what happens when you focus your energy into a book. It’s been an interesting few months that has consisted of wonderful adventures with and amazing girlfriend and, some really crappy situations as referenced by my last blog that I may not delve into for a very long time.Two years ago I wrote a blog post called “Small Talk, Big Problems” that really dived into some of the struggles I have with making small talk with people. I’ve always hated small talk because it seems so pointless and mundane. Small talk also requires one to put up this facade that can get tiring really fast. Small talk is an art that one must master if they want to survive in the worlds of networking and, dating. Some never make it past the meaningless small talk thus preventing the fostering of deeper connections. What if there were an event where you skip the small talk all together and, jump straight to the really important things on your mind; the things pent up inside you really want to vent about but, you can’t because you’ll have a total fucking stranger running for the hills with their tail between their legs? What if there was an event that would allow you to ask all the questions you ever wanted to ask someone but, you couldn’t because you thought that asking those questions in a regular conversation would be really over stepping your bounds? It appears that God answered those prayers in the best way possible. Continue reading