Mister Spock, Autism, and How My Logic Ruined the Magic of Christmas

Posted on December 21, 2013 by flem0328

Now before I go on with this blog post I need to put up a rather big disclaimer. I do not think Spock is on the spectrum and nor will this blog post be used to try to prove that. Also, please forgive me for any inaccuracies in my part of trying to describe Spock and the Star Trek universe, I rarely watched the series and these observations are based more on the recent movies. I do however believe there are some uncanny similarities between his logic driven through process and the thought process of someone on the spectrum. Now die hard Star Trek fans who understand some of the challenges of a person with Autism will instantly know what comparisons I’m going to make but to those who don’t understand, allow me to elaborate. In Star Trek, the character of Spock is half human and half Vulcan. Spock however develops based on his Vulcan heritage. His race suppresses all emotion in favor of logic. Logic drives their thoughts and their actions and how they approach situations. Spock is no different in this regard and his logic based approach to various challenges drive certain plot lines in the series as well as his interactions and relationships with the rest of the cast. Continue reading →

Those Days Where Your Best Doesn’t Feel Like it’s Good Enough

Posted on December 19, 2013 by flem0328

So one day I’m at an arcade playing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) and as usual, a crowd forms around me because it isn’t everyday that they see people who could move so fast with such precision. When the song is said and done with, everyone applauds and is totally floored by my performance. Everyone is in awe and people think it’s the greatest thing they’ve seen. Everyone watching believes it was incredibly stellar, everyone except me. You see, every seems to be in awe that I managed to hit about 490/500+ steps in one song. I on the other hand am in awe that I missed those ten arrows and should have been able to hit them. While everyone is in awe about what they just saw, I’m sitting there analyzing EVERYTHING I did wrong. There is no longer “I did the best I could”, there is only “that totally sucked, I can do so much better, that was pathetic”. In those moments I realized that I ‘m perfectionist and that I seem t never take what I can get. Continue reading →

Holding Onto Anger is like Drinking Poison and Expecting the Other Person to Die

Posted on December 13, 2013 by flem0328

A wise person once said that “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. What would happen if despite some of your best efforts there are times where you can’t help but continue to take sips of that poison because long after the fact you’ve been hurt, the memory can sometimes drive you mad, it stares you in your face like a nasty scar. The wound maybe closed but the memories will always remain. You continue to sip that poison because some days the memory hurts so badly that you feel as if the crime justifies the hate. Continue reading →

That Place Where Everyone Is Just As Broken As You

Posted on December 5, 2013 by flem0328

WARNING: SOME STRONG LANGUAGE! READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Ugh, it’s that time again, that time that comes every one to three months where I have to take the walk of shame but to where you ask? It’s sometimes the last place you’d like to be, especially when it because the reason you’re there in the first place involves a rather sensitive issue that I’ve covered in a few blogs. As you take that walk you try to recount where you’ve been emotionally the last few months and if you happen to encounter any “triggers” in your travels through the minefield known as life. It is in those moments this you remember that once again it’s time to see your psychiatrist.
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The Hoarders of Sometimes Useless Knowledge

Posted on December 3, 2013 by flem0328

You ever work with someone on the Autism spectrum only to find out they they seem to obsess over that one thing, that one thing that they just can’t go without talking about that is of far more importance to them than it is to you, that one thing that after hearing about for a while you’ll want to blow your brains out yet you’ll hear us talk about it long after you’ve blown your brains out?

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Famous People On the Spectrum, HOLD ON WHAT?!

Posted on October 4, 2013 by flem0328

Most people who are reading this and don’t know any better would probably see this as some sort of twisted oxymoron and begin to question the validity of such a combination words because by our norms it is not always possible. Continue reading →

THE ANTIDOTE IS A TRAP KIDS, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted on September 16, 2013 by flem0328

Right now some of you are probably confused as to what I may be alluding to for this next legendary entry and others probably already know what I’m going to be ranting about. To get the concept across however, I will have to educate you on a scenario from one of my favorite video games of all time that will hopefully serve as the perfect analogy for tonight’s rant.

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Perseverance is Failing 19 Times and Succeeding the 20th

Posted on September 7, 2013 by flem0328

Imagine a world where in order to get to where you needed to everyone around you simply had to ride an elevator while you on the other hand constantly had to take the stairs because for you the elevator was always broken. Suddenly the climb up those stairs became the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest without a map and to add insult to injury the weather gets turbulent and before you know it you’re left to your own device to weather the storm because not many people feel that they can help you out of the shithole that life has graciously decided it needed to throw you in. Take this wonderfully horrific analogy and you have my life in the jungle known as an education.

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A Letter to My Younger Self #1

Posted on September 4, 2013 by flem0328

Hello world, welcome to another exciting entry from the epicness that is my blog. Today I will attempt something that another fellow blogger recommended to me over lunch. By the way before I continue you can find her blog in the link below.

Perfectly Imperfecta

Now I had a tricky time trying to figure out which me I would write myself a letter to. I’ve been through many tricky situations in my life and there were several phases of my life where a letter from my future self was needed but there was one particular moment in my life where I think I needed it the most. As a referenced in an earlier blog post, the summer of 2010 was probably one of the darkest times of my life and the first time in my life I ever contemplated suicide. I shall start this series off by writing to my 22 year old self.

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Not Your Kind of People

Posted on September 2, 2013 by flem0328

For the longest time I’ve tried to find a song that describes my life in a nutshell. I’ve found a few that have come close but none of them really hit the nail on the head until now. I was listening through the albums of Garbage, a band from my favorite year of music (90s baby!!!!!!!!!) when I stumbled upon a song from their most recent album that felt as if it were written for me and all the other outcasts of society. As I listened through the song I suddenly felt a strong connection with the lyrics, especially during the second verse. In a nutshell the song is about being different from the rest of society and how different is always better. Now I’m not going to break down the entire song word for word but I will choose some sections of the song and explain the significance of the said section in my life.

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