Dear Daddy, I Write You In Spite of Months of Silence

Posted on October 11, 2017 by flem0328

It’s been a long ass time now hasn’t it? Between writing a book, some family drama, a new relationship; life has been an absolute mess in both the best and, worse way possible. My mind has been so much of a mess that the Trump administration would be jealous. As a matter of fact, the Trump Administration wants to trade messes with me right now. The last six months of my life have been both really awesome and, really shitty at the same time but; that’s the sort of thing you’ve gotta deal with when you’re me. Six months ago I met this really awesome woman on Catholic Match who I am now ecstatic to call my girlfriend. Six months ago was also the beginning of drama that would result in me being estranged from my father. You’re probably wondering what the fuck daddy issues have to do with Autism. Quite a bit so buckle up your seat belts bitches; we’re gonna snort 20 lines of coke, take 3 acid tabs, a couple of shrooms and, jump into the really fucked up rabbit hole that is my brain. Continue reading →

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell….

Posted on April 9, 2017 by flem0328

Hello strange world. It’s funny that the strange guy is calling the world strange but then again, if you’re all strange and I’m normal? Anyways, before I break the universe some more it’s time to get this show on the road. No this blog post has nothing to do with the infamous campaign in the military to repress one’s sexuality to preserve hyper masculinity, this post pertains to something I’ve struggled with for years as someone with a disability. Now before we get started we need to discuss the two types of disabilities; Visible disabilities and, invisible disabilities. The two terms are relatively self explanatory. A visible disability is one where you can look at someone and it’s pretty obvious they have some sort of disability. They’re either in a wheelchair, have a deformity, it’s pretty obvious they have a visual impairment (presence of a cane or guide dog) or, they’re on the lower functioning end cognitively (I’m fully aware some people don’t like functioning labels but, there’s really a lack of a better phrase). Then you have invisible disabilities. These are disabilities where you’d never know they exist just from looking at a person. These include any disorders that involve chronic fatigue like fibromyalgia, mild visual impairments that are still severe enough to render a person legally blind, seizure disorders or, people who are on the higher functioning end of any disability that results in cognitive impairments. Continue reading →

Singing The Blues

Posted on April 2, 2017 by flem0328

Blue shirts, blue buildings, blue ribbons. It’s Autism awareness month again ain’t it? Every year I have to watch the same damn thing unfold. Once again Autism Speaks is out on another mission to sound the alarm about a threat that doesn’t exist in order to pull in money that won’t go towards helping the very people the organization has sought out to exploit. You’d think creating this panic about Autism would be more played out than Drake songs on the radio but, unfortunately they’re always at it and have gotten increasingly more successful at duping unsuspecting people into throwing money at an organization that does not give a flying fuck what us Autistics actually have to say. For an organization called Autism Speaks, y’all sure as hell do a lot of the speaking for us. Due to the organization’s heavy presence during the month of April, people automatically assume that these guys are the gold standard of Autism organizations. Unfortunately, these guys have been responsible for a lot of the negative stigma surrounding Autism. Famous pieces like Susanne Wright’s “A Call to Action”, the documentary “Sounding the Alarm and, “I Wish My Kids Had Cancer: A Family Surviving the Autism Epidemic” seek to make Autism so scary that people will run to their senators and force them to provide more funding to Autism research,. Now don’t get me wrong Autism is still one of the least funded disorders but, the type of research Autism Speaks is seeking has all the wrong intentions behind it. They see Autism as something that should be eliminated instead of trying to advocate for better supports that would allow those on the spectrum to be the best possible versions of themselves. I shall leave you with a few things to think about. Continue reading →

Master of Disguise (Change Clothes And Go)

Posted on March 16, 2017 by flem0328

Welcome welcome welcome to another exciting edition of the best blog you will every read in this lifetime. It may also be the only blog you’ll need in your lifetime. This weekend I had the opportunity to enjoy another epic time at PAX East, one of this biggest gaming/nerd conventions on the eastern seaboard. I’ve been attending the convention since its youthful beginnings in 2010 as a small show. The show has only grown exponentially over the years. Starting in 2014, I begin Cosplaying (The practice of dressing up as a character from a movie, book, anime, or video game). Cosplaying was something I always wanted to do but, never had the courage to pull off due to lack of confidence. I’d see all these ambitious looking cosplays and would get super intimidated. In 2014 I decided I would come out of my comfort zone and attempt an outfit. It wasn’t anything overly ambitious, just something from one of my favorite game shows of all time (Legends of the Hidden Temple). It was such a thrilling experience for me because I was finally diving into something I loved. It was also liberating due to the bullying I experienced as a child. Continue reading →

The Bully Pulpit

Posted on January 9, 2017 by flem0328

[WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE & GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF ABUSE]

Hello world! Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday because, we’re about to kick some more ass. After yet another blog about a my shitty love life, it’s time to talk about some more serious matters. Are any of you guys familiar with the phrase “The Bully Pulpit” No? I thought so. For those who aren’t, A bully pulpit is a conspicuous position that provides an opportunity to speak out and be listened to. The term was coined by President Theodore Roosevelt, who referred to the White House as a “bully pulpit”, by which he meant a terrific platform from which to advocate an agenda. To put it in simpler terms; It’s a place both physically and, figuratively where you spout any message good or bad and, people will hear it loud and clear whether they want to or not. Those who often follow my blogs will know that I often touch the subject of bullying, a subject that unfortunately hits home for me. Growing up I got bullied quite a bit. The scars still linger from my many ordeals and, I sometimes struggle greatly with my self esteem. People with disabilities get bullied and, even abused at a disproportionate rate. Now I’ve never really touched the subject of abuse but, we need to talk about two stories that have made they news as of late and unfortunately for reasons that over shadow an even bigger problem in our society. Continue reading →

Let’s Get Dangerous (Between A Rock and The Broad Spectrum)

Posted on December 31, 2016 by flem0328

They always say you should end the year on a high note, I highly doubt this post will constitute as such so work with me alright? This year has been a pretty interesting one given the events of 2015 some good and, some just absolute shit. I had high hopes for 2016 and for the most part it delivered but, there just one thing that has lingered since the middle of last year. If you’ve been avidly reading my blogs then you’re probably going “Not this shit again!”. Yup, it’s definitely this shit again but, we’re going to go down an entirely different rabbit hole and discuss an aspect of dating I’m surprised I never went in full detail about (Definitely not sex! There’s already a blog post for that). It will also chronicle my dating experiences in the last several years and bring us to a sort of dilemma I’ve been having this last week. For those who are new to my blog, the story plays out like this; I’m a single, hopeless romantic that has struggled to find a lasting romantic relationship (Yeah a love sick Autistic guy, how shocking!). Two years ago I was certain I had found my forever woman but, she broke up with me eight months later. Even before that one, I met another woman several years ago I also thought was my forever woman; That relationship also went up in flames. In between the last relationship and now, I’ve gone on three dates, none of them successful. Now the one thing that I don’t often mention about my travels is, there’s a huge difference between the two relationships I was in and, the three women I went on dates on and, a fourth formerly eligible bachelorette that met with an end that has put a sour taste in my mouth. Cough syrup has nothing on how bachelorette number 4 values the time of others. The first two women I was in a relationship with were on the spectrum, the other three weren’t. Continue reading →

Soundtrack 2 My Life

Posted on December 10, 2016 by flem0328

Music has always been a huge part of my life. From a young age I noticed music on the radio quickly and would constantly hum it. When I was 11 I started walking around with a walkman everywhere I went. When I was 14, I got my first portable CD player. When I turned 16, I got my first MP3 player and, it was at that point that the floodgates of my musical love busted wide open. I remember that MP3 player vividly, it was a Dell Digital Jukebox 15. It was a 15 GB MP3 player which by today’s standards is pretty small but, in 2004 it was a huge deal. Being able to carry a growing library of CDs around with me totally blew my mind. Unfortunately it broke a year later and it was the most depressing thing ever. I just remember being in a shitty mood for a very long time because I had no means of carrying my collection with me. The CD player was simply a small band aid on an open gash. I wouldn’t get another MP3 player again until the following year but, it paled in comparison to my beloved Dell Jukebox. I wouldn’t get another high capacity MP3 player until 2008 when I used the money I saved during a summer job to get an 80 GB iPod Classic. My music collection increased exponentially between then and the end of my senior year of college. Eventually my music collection would out grow that iPod and, I would have to buy an 160 GB iPod Classic. I’ve sadly out grown that iPod too and often have to rotate out music based on what I’m listening to. You’re probably wondering how one fills an 160 GB iPod Classic; Well, I listen to pretty much everything except for country and, I have full cataloges for all the artists I have on there. I also have a ton of video game soundtracks and, music from a lot of international artists. Those who see me on a regular basis will know I never leave my house without my headphones. I wear my headphones everywhere I go, even in places it’s not socially acceptable to like in church. Now you’re probably wondering what music has to do with tonight’s blog. Over the years, there have been a few songs that have spoken to me in a way that not many have. They’re also songs tied to very critical points in my life or, have helped me to convey pretty complex emotions. In no particular order, here are the songs/albums. Continue reading →

The Color of Pain

Posted on November 28, 2016 by flem0328

Hello world! I’m alive and well and have not been kidnapped by Serbian mobsters if you’ve been wondering why you haven’t seen a blog from yours truly. There’s been a lot of crazy shit in the news in my absence, something about an election and some guy that everyone hates ruling the iron throne. Apparently he killed some woman name Hillary in one of the most shocking plot twists ever in a TV show. Hillary was winning every single battle and just when she has the upper hand, this guy name Trump just storms the back door and practically cuts her throat. That’s a hell of a TV show! Wait, you mean that happened in real life? Damn fam! That’s not what this blog is about though, we here at the Epic Autistic stay the fuck out of politics and will not be talking about this further. It will however continue to be a constant source of jokes, metaphors, puns, analogies and, all the wonderful literary devices that your English teacher rammed down your throat like your name was Linda Lovelace (Yes that is a porn reference, we’re all adults here). Now that I’m done with that little tirade, it’s time to talk about the other things in the news. You know, the stuff that actually has to do with this blog. Recently, Kanye West was admitted to the hospital for a slew of psychiatric problems. Love or hate Kanye, mental heath is something we ALL should be talking about. A month ago, Kid Cudi also checked himself into rehab for depression and suicidal thoughts. These guys have plenty in common, they celebrities, the famous artists, they’re rich as fuck and, they’re black. Continue reading →

Paper Trail

Posted on October 12, 2016 by flem0328

Hello world! It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. Life has been pretty hectic but, those events are for another blog. Today I will be touching on something I realize I’ve never really talked about on here much to my surprise. Tonight were gonna talk about the dreaded three letter acronym, an acronym that strikes fear in parents of children with special needs yearly or however many times a year you have to deal with it. Parents who read this blog already know what rabbit hole we’re gonna jump in today or, you’re probably impatient and jumped to the second paragraph of this blog post. Gosh people, y’all gotta rush through shit and not take time to appreciate it. You’re the type of people who skimmed through books in English class and didn’t take time to take in the symbolism. Then again, I also skimmed through books and didn’t take the time to take in the symbolism which I’m pretty sure our English teachers made up because let’s be real, I don’t think that bowl full of fruit or those blue curtains were ever meant to serve any other purpose except to exist in the scenery. You have to wonder if English teachers did that shit intentionally to justify making homework assignments, quizzes and, essays for a book in the first place. Anyways, before I get carried away let’s just get on with it shall we? You have to wonder if these first paragraphs are as unwarranted as the small talk nurses make when they’re about to stick you with some needle or other sharp medical instrument. Like, we already know you’re gonna inflict some form of pain on me for the longest 2-3 seconds of my life so can we just get on with this shit already. Without further adieu, let’s just get on with this shit shall we? Continue reading →

The Devil’s Advocate (Me Before The World)

Posted on August 20, 2016 by flem0328

(WARNING, THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM THE MOVIE “ME BEFORE YOU”. IF YOU’D LIKE TO WATCH THE MOVIE BEFORE READING THIS POST THEN DON’T READ ANY FURTHER, IF YOU’VE WATCHED THE MOVIE YOU COULDN’T CARE LESS THEN READ ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Continue reading →