Finding Independence (Success Begins With Two Words, I’ll Try…)

So two weeks ago I had the chance to watch Finding Dory and, once again Pixar has delivered another masterpiece and most importantly, something blog worthy. So without spoiling anything, Finding Dory center’s around Nemo’s friend Dory who is very scatter brained and is notorious for short term memory issues. The movie takes a look back at her childhood and how she got separated from her family in the first place. A series of events causes Dory to remember her family thus begins yet another journey that makes for an epic Pixar film. Their adventure brings them to an aquarium that specializes in rehabilitating injured aquatic animals. Now, where the film truly succeeds is how it tackles living with a disability. A lot of this movie’s important characters including Dory all have some sort of disability that has an adverse affect on how they live their lives. From a visually impaired whale shark named Destiny to a Dolphin named Bailey who is unable to use his echo location abilities, a cognitively impaired loon named Becky and of course Dory, this film stresses not only how people live and function in this world with disabilities but, it also explores the topic of ableism which can be a huge problem for those of us with disabilities. Continue reading

Two Can Be As Bad As One (It’s The Loneliest Number Since The Number One)

It’s funny how a simple yet very deep and complex lyric from a classic Three Dog Night song can spark inspiration at 2 in the morning. As a matter of fact, it’s funny how ANYTHING can spark inspiration at 2 in the morning. The whole accord is sheer fucking irony if you ask me but, I’m up at 2 am after going to bed at a decent time so let’s get this show on the road shall we? Every now and then I’ll have these random bouts of insomnia that often come out of nowhere but are usually the result of being very anxious and restless. So what’s eating at me this time you ask? It’s the same thing that’s been eating me for almost an entire year and I honestly, I can’t believe I’m about to write another blog about it too. I probably sound like a broken record with all of these blogs about dating and what not but recently it’s all just reached a peak, it also doesn’t help that next week will mark one year of my heart getting ripped in many pieces. Me panicking at 2 am seems very well within the realm of possible scenarios that can happen to me along with some chick on an online dating site trying to hustle me out of $200, someone trying to rope me into a pyramid scheme or, some pseudo Christian cult that’s really a pyramid scheme with a dash of religion trying to recruit me but, those are all stories for another day. Continue reading

I Like Warm Hugs!

Hello weird world, it’s been some time but I’m back and I’m ready to drop some more of that uber awesome knowledge of mine. So this weekend I decided to do something a little, interesting. I decided to attend this event called “Hugging Therapy” and to those whose minds have already leap frogged into the gutter, not that kind of hugging. This event was designed to create a strictly platonic environment where those who were hurting or wished to form some sort of connection could do that in a safe space. Now you’re probably wondering what could be bothering me so much that I would desire hugs from total strangers (I l knew three of the people from outside of this session), we’ll get to that. Needless to say, I learnt way more about myself that day than I have in an entire year and maybe my entire life. Continue reading

Let’s Talk About Sex Baby (READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!!!!!!!)

Alright, I’m going to stray from the norm this time around and touch on what many consider to be taboo. Remember that birds and bees story your parents told you when you were young and naive? Remember those naughty tapes you used to sneak from your uncle’s house and watch in secret when your parents were asleep? Remember when you had that one relative with a cable descrambler and flipping back and fourth between channels B21-24 and remembering the hot keys for Disney Channel and Cartoon Network was your life? Well sit down children, because we’re about to learn about the most important subject ever from someone that society thinks has no business elaborating on it. We’re gonna talk about sex. Now I know what you’re thinking, how can an Autistic person know anything about sex let alone elaborate on it? If this is your rational then congratulations, you’re part of the problem and I hope you feel good about yourself. Now I should note that I’m still a virgin (“VIRGIN?! YOU MEAN WE’RE TAKING SEX ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHOSE NEVER SEEN A VAGINA OUTSIDE OF PORN?!” Yes guys, you are about to read sex advice from someone whose never gotten laid, just hear me out). Continue reading

Game On

Long time no see strange world! Miss me? I thought so. Well I’m back so without further adieu, I’m about to blow your mind so hard J.F.K. would be jealous (too soon?). Now those who know me and those who have read my blogs know how important gaming is to me. I have covered gaming in a number of blogs (Those Awkward Times When Game Consoles Understood Me Better Than People Ever Would, The Graphics Aren’t As Great In Real Life, Neither Are the People, and Somewhere I Belong). When I was younger some would call me obsessed, I thought about video games, talked about them, and day dreamed about them. I hated school and nothing was better than getting home and firing up my Sega Genesis, Super Nintendo, or PlayStation and getting lost in a world that wasn’t my own. Now y’all are probably wondering what was so great about the world within the game. It wasn’t so much the world within the game that was enticing but rather what it helped me get away from. Before we get into that, we have to do a Quentin Tarantino and do a time jump to the present for a bit. Continue reading

There Is No One Alive Who Is Youer Than You (Shameless Plugs)

There are honestly way too many words to describe the last few months. To sum it all up, the last few months have been a bigger mess than your living room after Christmas presents have been unwrapped. The last six months have been such a mess that your toddler’s high chair would be jealous. Your child’s bedroom ain’t got nothing on how much of a mess the last couple of months have been. Move over NFC East (football division), what if I told you there was a dating life that was a bigger mess than you guys? And the saga continues like horror movies that can’t decide if they’ve released their last film or if they plan on dropping another shitty sequel. My romance life has decided on shitty sequels because it can’t seem to decide on an epic finisher like a Mortal Kombat player deciding if they want Liu Kang to finish you with a Bicycle Kick or if they want him to transform into a dragon and bite the top half of your body off.  Continue reading

Russian Roulette: An Autistic Guy’s Lens Into Online Dating

Guess what time it is, guess what time it is! It’s time for another exciting installment of the blog from yours truly and the best place to experience life’s adventures through the eyes of a guy so sees the world in the most literal way possible. I’m about as literal as syllables dancing in your cereal. So this blog is about exactly what it implies, my adventures in the online dating sphere. After spending the summer being such an emotional wreck and admittedly even crying myself to sleep some nights (yeah I’m kind of pathetic), it was time go get off my sorry ass, grab life by the horns and start shopping the market once again for Mrs. Right, easier said than done right? Definitely easier said than done. Those who have read my blogs know that I suck at talking to most women and emotionally it’s difficult for me to emotionally connect with them let alone anyone unless I truly like them or feel safe. I promise I’m not picky, it just don’t always have an easy time with people. Trying to find people in person got pretty frustrating so I decided to delve back into something I told myself I’d never try again, online dating. Continue reading

The Glass Prison (Take These Chains…)

For however long it takes you to read this blog I’m going to be more honest with you than I have in a while. No we’re not taking into question what I’ve written in my blogs, it’s the Flemmings Beaubrun that I’ve presented to you in the last three months. I’ve shown you all a Flemmings that seemed to have it all together, a Flemmings that was happy and seemed like nothing phased him at all. The problem is that for the last three months I’ve been wearing a mask but as time has passed that mask has been getting harder and harder to wear. Lying to people about my emotions has gotten pretty tiring actually. I’ve gotten so fatigued about lying the last three months that I wonder how Commissioner Goodell of the NFL has been able to play that game for seven. I’ve had it with lying so I’m going to explain to you the whirlwind emotions I’ve had to juggle for an entire summer. Shit, even clowns would be jealous with all the complicated shit I’ve had to juggle. Now in my last blog post I briefly mentioned the unfortunate end of what I though would be a very promising relationship. Was hasn’t been brief however is the emotional and psychological toll this break up has had on me for the last three months. Now while I’ve developed enough coping methods and grown enough to avoid flirting with the suicidal thoughts I had to battle through the last time I was this depressed, it still has been one of the toughest summers in recent memory. Continue reading

Small Talk, Big Problems

There’s this gorgeous looking lady at the gym I go to, like gorgeous. I’ve yet to see her smile but she looks like she has a million dollar smile. Did I mention she’s got glasses? I’m a sucker for women with glasses. In a perfect world I should be able to walk up to her and start flirting and yet I’m paralyzed with fear. I don’t even know where to start or how to get her attention in a way that I don’t seem like some random guy going to strike conversation with her when she’s trying to workout. There’s also this other gorgeous lady that takes the same bus and train I do. I can’t muster up the courage to talk to her either. In my life time the two women I’ve dated had made the first move so I’m not very good at initiating anything. I’m about as bad at initiating things as a someone too distracted by a movie to feel up their significant other when their practically putting up the Bat Symbol (For those wondering about the ever so lovely girl I dedicated a blog to a few months back, that shit is over like a game of Mario when the Nintendo breaks. I really don’t want to get into the details but the I’ve got a story of my tragic love life larger than all of the Game of Thrones books combined and it just got enough pages to make a replica of the tree that all of that paper came from). I sit awake some nights wondering why I suck so much with women and it all goes back to one of the biggest struggles someone on the spectrum can have. Continue reading

Self Serve

Okay, there’s been a hot button topic within the Autism community that I have yet to discuss but lately has gotten pretty heated on some forums so I feel I need to offer some of my insight on the issue. Within the community there seems to be a stigma around “self diagnosis” which is exactly what it implies, it’s someone diagnosing themselves as being on the spectrum without any medical proof or evaluation from a psychologist. Now you may remember back in the fall of last year when Jerry Seinfeld stated in an interview that he may be Autistic. Within moments of that interview there was a shitstorm of backlash from parents of children on the spectrum who saw this as simply a publicity stunt. To them it was nothing more than a celebrity attempting to capitalize on a struggle that affects many families. Their worse fear was that their struggle would be overshadowed by a celebrity who doesn’t look like they should ever be the face of Autism. Now while I feel for the families with children on the spectrum and those on the spectrum who feel that people are hopping on the bandwagon because they think it’s cool or hip, there’s something you need to understand about the world’s perception of Autism. Continue reading