Love Actually (It’s Still a Better Love Story Than Twilight)

If anyone ever tells you that falling love is this magical feeling where the planets align and you’re in this blissful mood where everything is awesome or that falling in love is like a Disney movie where all the animals start singing and everything is colorful and shit then they lied man, they lied. They lied so hard their nose is longer than a giraffes neck. Their nose is so long it swings in pendulum fashion like Ron Jeremy’s manhood (please don’t look that thing up, you’ll go blind). Falling in love isn’t as simple or fun or colorful as people make it out to be. Falling in love can be the most overwhelming and uncomfortable feeling one ever experiences. While many call this phenomenon love, I personally like to call it “Oh Goddamnit! Not this shit again! Anything but this!”. The bible claims that love doesn’t hurt but that’s honestly the biggest lie I’ve heard since Aaron Hernandez’s claim of innocence (too soon?). Love is awkward, uncomfortable, overwhelming, exciting, and beautiful all at the same damn time. Continue reading

Sucker Punch (The Zigger Zagger to End All Zigger Zaggers)

Have you seen the movie Sucker Punch? No? Well what the hell are you waiting for? You’re missing out on one of the most mind blowing movies of 2011. Unfortunately this blog post isn’t about the really awesome psychological thriller that involves a bunch of steampunk, giant robots, and really hot girls with swords and enough artillery to arm a country for a life time. This blog post has to do with the blow life deals to you when you least expect it. That blow to the face and even the crotch when when you least expect it, the blow that hits you so hard you’ll spend a long time figuring out where it came from when the answer is standing dead in your face like a reflection in the mirror or a zit on your face. Continue reading

Back In My Day, Gates Only Involved Water, Nipples, and Spying

Remember the days when a “gate” involved an office complex? What about that “gate” that involved my home football team (The New England Patriots) spying on other teams during games? Oh, remember that “gate that involved Janet Jackson’s nipples (greatest seconds in television history if you’re a guy or a girl that interested in that sort of thing, I won’t judge, this blog is as safe zone as it gets). Anyways, before I get carried about about Janet Jackson’s nipples or how Justin Timberlake purposely ripped that breast plate off (He could have been a gentleman and covered her but he sat there twiddling his thumbs and watched what we watched for as long as it took for the cameras to move away). Now before I get really get carried away I need to explain to you what a “gate” is and what this has to do with me. A “gate” is a scandal and when referring to a scandal you attach that suffix at the end of whatever noun refers to that scandal. The origin of this term is the infamous “Watergate Scandal” that involved the Nixon administration and took place at the Watergate complex. An example of this phrase would be the whole Janet Jackson Superbowl incident was referred to as “nipplegate” because it involved her breast getting exposed on national TV in front of millions of families including children (OMG THE CHILDREN, ANYTHING BUT THE CHILDREN, LITTLE TIMMY DOESN’T WANT TO SEE JANET JACKSON’S BREAST). Listen, before I get back on topic, little Timmy enjoyed all three seconds of that as much as I did, maybe even more so stop being so naive. Your child has seen way more than nipples at his age if he’s lucky. You can’t protect your kids from smut no matter how hard you try. Now, let’s get back on track and don’t let me get derailed again otherwise you might get run over. Continue reading

Out of The Frying Pan, Into The Fire

It’s been quite some time since I wrote a blog post (okay it hasn’t been too long but it sure feels like forever). So long story short, after years of searching I finally have a job and needless to say the last few weeks have definitely had that “out of the frying pan, into the fire” sort of feel to it. So for those who don’t know what I do for 20 hours a week, I’m an Assistive Technology assistant. What does my job consist of you ask? I get to play with a shitton of awesome toys (A little over 1000 to be exact) but all for a good cause though. For those who aren’t familiar with assistive technology, you can check out the blog posts “I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends” and “I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends #2”. For those who are too lazy to take the time to read some excellent blog posts from yours truly, assistive technology is any piece of equipment whether it be technical or bare bones that eases the life of someone with a disability or an impairment of any varying degree. For some, that may be an augmentative communication device, or others it maybe something as simple a program that increases the size of text, for another it may be a robotic arm that allows a fellow colleague of yours to feed themselves for the first time ever but we’ll get to that latter one in a future blog post on the subject. What ever it may be, it is designed with the purpose of making tasks that were once difficult or even down right impossible somewhat easier. Now I do my work with none other than Easter Seals in a center I barely new anything about until almost a year ago. Continue reading

Robin Williams: What His Passing Teaches Us About Depression

I lost a part of my childhood yesterday. Those who grew up in the 90s remember Robin Williams from classic films like Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, Flubber, Jumanji, and many others. His humor will forever remain in my memory as a staple of my childhood and one of the many things that got me through dark time. Behind the laughs however was a man who battled with depression. I just want to take this time to say that depression is no joke. As mentioned in previous blog posts (see Forever Loved -For Those Who Need It The Most- and That Place Where Every One is Just As Broken As You), I have battled through depression at some of the lowest points in my life and even came pretty close to ending my life. Even after years of touching upon this subject I still feel pretty uneasy doing so because there’s such a nasty stigma associated with depression and other mental illnesses. Continue reading

All I Want For My Birthday is a Big Booty Hoe (A Look Back At an Epic Year of Blogging)

Damn! You mean this blog is really a year old? Wow, It’s still hard to believe I’ve been writing this blog for an entire year. 50 something posts later and I’m still getting started. Before we take a look back through a great year I just want to take this time to thank all of my loyal readers, you guys are the reason why I delicate the energy I do to this blog. It is an honor to have the opportunity to use my experiences to enlighten everyone. Well without further adieu, lets go through my top favorite blog posts from the year in chronological order. This list will serve as a refresher for those who have been reading my blog since the beginning and as a sampler for any newcomers. Continue reading

Autism Speaks Many Languages, Fear Isn’t One of Them

So recently I watched a new Autism documentary called “Sounding the Alarm: Battling the Autism Epidemic” or as I like to call it, a 57 minute commercial for Autism Speaks’ vile agenda. Now I stumbled upon a trailer for the documentary on Facebook a few days ago and already I felt uneasy with the tone of the trailer. The title itself was enough to turn my stomach a bit. First of all, the words “Autism” and “Epidemic” should NEVER be used in the same sentence. It also shouldn’t be in the same sentence as “Disease”. A disease shortens ones life expectancy has a negative impact on ones way of living. Being Autistic may make it difficult a times for me to connect with people but my way of living is no different than that of a healthy person. Now the point of this movie is to shed light on a big problem in this country and that is the fact that not every single state has insurance coverage for service for those on the spectrum such as ABA therapy and other early intervention services. The problem with this documentary/57 minute public service announcement is that at some points of this documentary it conveys this problem using the same fear tactics used by Autism Speaks. As a matter of fact, members of Autism Speaks including Suzanne Wright have a decent amount of airtime in this documentary.  Continue reading

There is No Spoon, Then You’ll See That it is Not The Spoon That Bends, It is Only Yourself.

For a while I’ve often been asked a question that I never truly knew how to give a precise answer to. It should be self explanatory but that sad thing is that when you dig deeper things tend to get a bit complicated. Most people who follow Autism awareness know the puzzle piece to be the symbol of Autism and that’s essentially how people perceive the disorder, a puzzle, a mystery that needs to be solved. I often get asked what the point of the puzzle piece and I always approached it symbolically but, yesterday when a friend of mine asked I decided to take a more literal approach to it and when I did it exposed inherent flaws within our society and our approach to the disorder. We as humans make things far more complicated than they’re supposed to be. Continue reading

The League of Extraordinary Women

Over the course of this roller coaster ride of a life there have been many people who have entered my life with the sole purpose of helping me and getting to where I am to day. While many have left their mark in their own unique ways, there are a few of them that have had a bigger impact than they intended to. Coincidentally these five people are all women not that I’m complaining, it’s just an interesting coincidence. If there was a League of Extraordinary women, these ladies would be it and with out further adieu I present to you these lovely women in no particular order. Continue reading

Dance, When You’re Broken Open. Dance, If You’ve Torn the Bandage Off.

A month ago I celebrated nine years of playing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution). Now people who have known me through college and high school know me as a pro DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) player who moves like lightning across a DDR pad and almost never misses a step. While it seems like a simple hobby on the surface, there is a story to this madness that dates as far back as Sophomore year of high school. Now you’re probably wondering what DDR has to do with me being Autistic, it has a lot to do with the subject in ways people couldn’t ever imagine. Those who read my Autism Awareness posts last year will remember the basis of this story however this post goes into greater depth. Continue reading