The Glass Prison (Take These Chains…)

Posted on September 16, 2015 by flem0328

For however long it takes you to read this blog I’m going to be more honest with you than I have in a while. No we’re not taking into question what I’ve written in my blogs, it’s the Flemmings Beaubrun that I’ve presented to you in the last three months. I’ve shown you all a Flemmings that seemed to have it all together, a Flemmings that was happy and seemed like nothing phased him at all. The problem is that for the last three months I’ve been wearing a mask but as time has passed that mask has been getting harder and harder to wear. Lying to people about my emotions has gotten pretty tiring actually. I’ve gotten so fatigued about lying the last three months that I wonder how Commissioner Goodell of the NFL has been able to play that game for seven. I’ve had it with lying so I’m going to explain to you the whirlwind emotions I’ve had to juggle for an entire summer. Shit, even clowns would be jealous with all the complicated shit I’ve had to juggle. Now in my last blog post I briefly mentioned the unfortunate end of what I though would be a very promising relationship. Was hasn’t been brief however is the emotional and psychological toll this break up has had on me for the last three months. Now while I’ve developed enough coping methods and grown enough to avoid flirting with the suicidal thoughts I had to battle through the last time I was this depressed, it still has been one of the toughest summers in recent memory. Continue reading →

Small Talk, Big Problems

Posted on August 18, 2015 by flem0328

There’s this gorgeous looking lady at the gym I go to, like gorgeous. I’ve yet to see her smile but she looks like she has a million dollar smile. Did I mention she’s got glasses? I’m a sucker for women with glasses. In a perfect world I should be able to walk up to her and start flirting and yet I’m paralyzed with fear. I don’t even know where to start or how to get her attention in a way that I don’t seem like some random guy going to strike conversation with her when she’s trying to workout. There’s also this other gorgeous lady that takes the same bus and train I do. I can’t muster up the courage to talk to her either. In my life time the two women I’ve dated had made the first move so I’m not very good at initiating anything. I’m about as bad at initiating things as a someone too distracted by a movie to feel up their significant other when their practically putting up the Bat Symbol (For those wondering about the ever so lovely girl I dedicated a blog to a few months back, that shit is over like a game of Mario when the Nintendo breaks. I really don’t want to get into the details but the I’ve got a story of my tragic love life larger than all of the Game of Thrones books combined and it just got enough pages to make a replica of the tree that all of that paper came from). I sit awake some nights wondering why I suck so much with women and it all goes back to one of the biggest struggles someone on the spectrum can have. Continue reading →

Self Serve

Posted on July 21, 2015 by flem0328

Okay, there’s been a hot button topic within the Autism community that I have yet to discuss but lately has gotten pretty heated on some forums so I feel I need to offer some of my insight on the issue. Within the community there seems to be a stigma around “self diagnosis” which is exactly what it implies, it’s someone diagnosing themselves as being on the spectrum without any medical proof or evaluation from a psychologist. Now you may remember back in the fall of last year when Jerry Seinfeld stated in an interview that he may be Autistic. Within moments of that interview there was a shitstorm of backlash from parents of children on the spectrum who saw this as simply a publicity stunt. To them it was nothing more than a celebrity attempting to capitalize on a struggle that affects many families. Their worse fear was that their struggle would be overshadowed by a celebrity who doesn’t look like they should ever be the face of Autism. Now while I feel for the families with children on the spectrum and those on the spectrum who feel that people are hopping on the bandwagon because they think it’s cool or hip, there’s something you need to understand about the world’s perception of Autism. Continue reading →

Sucker Punch (The Zigger Zagger to End All Zigger Zaggers)

Posted on January 30, 2015 by flem0328

Have you seen the movie Sucker Punch? No? Well what the hell are you waiting for? You’re missing out on one of the most mind blowing movies of 2011. Unfortunately this blog post isn’t about the really awesome psychological thriller that involves a bunch of steampunk, giant robots, and really hot girls with swords and enough artillery to arm a country for a life time. This blog post has to do with the blow life deals to you when you least expect it. That blow to the face and even the crotch when when you least expect it, the blow that hits you so hard you’ll spend a long time figuring out where it came from when the answer is standing dead in your face like a reflection in the mirror or a zit on your face. Continue reading →

The Anatomy of An Epic Blog Title

Posted on August 27, 2014 by flem0328

By now avid readers of this blog ave noticed the awesomeness of many of my blog titles on this site. From “All I Want For My Birthday Is a Big Booty Hoe” to “There Is No Spoon, Then You Will See That It Is Not The Spoon That Bends But Only Yourself” or “You Borrow My Brain For Five Seconds and Just Be Like “Dude Unplug this Bastard, Can’t Handle It!!!!!”, coming up with such EPIC titles is a science anyone can master if you’re willing to think outside the box. If you’ve come here with an open mind then I shall bestow upon you some of my techniques for making epic blog titles. Continue reading →

Robin Williams: What His Passing Teaches Us About Depression

Posted on August 12, 2014 by flem0328

I lost a part of my childhood yesterday. Those who grew up in the 90s remember Robin Williams from classic films like Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, Flubber, Jumanji, and many others. His humor will forever remain in my memory as a staple of my childhood and one of the many things that got me through dark time. Behind the laughs however was a man who battled with depression. I just want to take this time to say that depression is no joke. As mentioned in previous blog posts (see Forever Loved -For Those Who Need It The Most- and That Place Where Every One is Just As Broken As You), I have battled through depression at some of the lowest points in my life and even came pretty close to ending my life. Even after years of touching upon this subject I still feel pretty uneasy doing so because there’s such a nasty stigma associated with depression and other mental illnesses. Continue reading →

All I Want For My Birthday is a Big Booty Hoe (A Look Back At an Epic Year of Blogging)

Posted on August 4, 2014 by flem0328

Damn! You mean this blog is really a year old? Wow, It’s still hard to believe I’ve been writing this blog for an entire year. 50 something posts later and I’m still getting started. Before we take a look back through a great year I just want to take this time to thank all of my loyal readers, you guys are the reason why I delicate the energy I do to this blog. It is an honor to have the opportunity to use my experiences to enlighten everyone. Well without further adieu, lets go through my top favorite blog posts from the year in chronological order. This list will serve as a refresher for those who have been reading my blog since the beginning and as a sampler for any newcomers. Continue reading →

Dance, When You’re Broken Open. Dance, If You’ve Torn the Bandage Off.

Posted on May 26, 2014 by flem0328

A month ago I celebrated nine years of playing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution). Now people who have known me through college and high school know me as a pro DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) player who moves like lightning across a DDR pad and almost never misses a step. While it seems like a simple hobby on the surface, there is a story to this madness that dates as far back as Sophomore year of high school. Now you’re probably wondering what DDR has to do with me being Autistic, it has a lot to do with the subject in ways people couldn’t ever imagine. Those who read my Autism Awareness posts last year will remember the basis of this story however this post goes into greater depth. Continue reading →

But If I’m So Smart, Why Does Everyone Hate Me (Picking Up the Pieces of Your Bullied Child’s Psyche)

Posted on March 21, 2014 by flem0328

TRIGGER WARNING AND PARENTHOOD SPOILER ALERT

So those who watched last night’s episode of Parenthood were greeted to probably one of the most hear breaking talks you will ever have with a child who is different from the rest. To those who watch the show and haven’t watched last night’s episode I suggest you stop reading this and go watch it on “On Demand” or “Hulu” or “nbc.com” or whatever means you have of catching up on episodes. Go on, I’ll be waiting right here. Well what are you waiting for? Go! I’m just gonna stand here as awkwardly as Dora the Explorer does when she waits for you to answer her questions aimed at her “audience”.

Continue reading →

The R Rating of a Different Kind

Posted on March 7, 2014 by flem0328

It’s been quite sometime since I wrote one of these and honestly, the reasons for my absence are irrelevant. I’m back and I’m ready to kick some more ass. Apparently this month within the disabilities community is “Spread the Word to End the Word” month. Now I had no idea this month was devoted that cause which is a little sad because it is a reminder of how out of touch I have been with the world as of late. For those who are completely unaware of what word I’m talking about, it’s a word a lot of us use very nonchalantly and even I have been guilty of using this word a lot in my youth. It’s a word we use so much we sometimes forget who that word hurts the most and is also a reminder of how disregarded the fight for disability rights is. I’m talking about the word “Retarded” or “Retard”, a word which from personal experience even as a black person I find more offensive than the N word. Now before every African American person or person of color goes batshit crazy over this statement, allow me to explain myself and my own personal struggle. Continue reading →